so i started asking all those questinos cos my family is hell bent that soemone has charmed my cousin with voodoo.
i can see where they can get the notion but yet i say i have a logical explanation or it.
my cousin is a young lad. probably abt 24. he was blessed with brains. scholary. in elementary school, it was double promotion upon double promotion. he entered secondary school quite young too. either 8 or 9 sha. when his class mates where like 11 or 12 yr olds in jss 1.
his high school storied where hilarious. the funniest i remember was how much people took advantage of him being so young n naive. by big mistake, my aunt put him in boarding school. mayflower i beleive it is in remo, ogun state. big disaster. his school father used to send him to go buy bread n sardines for him with his ( cousins) own pocket money. even when the money was supposed to be for supplies like books. he went to school with all the necessities n more n came back home with an empty suitcase that had been riped open with a knife n all its content stolen, the shirt on his back n the shorts he was wearing. that was it. everything else had been stolen, his underwear, shoes everything. it was afunny sight. he even came home sick cos he had fallen into the incinerator. ( a place that housed all the shit n poop from all the dorms) the darn thing had no cover n it was a rainy day n he was running to his dorm. (ope no one is in the middle of a meal sorry for the graphics). we all werent surprised that he didn't last more than one sememster.
anyways back to the main story. he graduated high school at 14 or so n was one of the youngest at ui. the boy cleared 5 subjects of the g.c.e advanced levels like no mans business. i remember struggling to get thru three of the o'levels. anyways he came to the states n things just werent the same. i say he lost discipline. not uncommon. what mystifies everyone is his current life stlye. he took the mcats to get into med school. i think he scored 28. which i deem extremly good for soemone who never studied. he took ht exam n never once picked up his books to study for it. he has had a number of schools call on him for interviews but he never seems to follow up.
he moved out of his parents where his lucky ass was being taken care of. he never had to pay any bills. even up to the car he was driivng, it was paid for. he decided to move in with his girl friend. ever since that girl has been in h is life things just havn't been the same. his extremely deceitful. lies abt every n anything. he works for some oncologist making miserly bucks that is hardly enough to pay his rent. oh mind u the girl doesn't work. so he is taking care of both of them.
she has sickle cell. ss and he is a carrier.as. so there is a 75% chance theri kids will have sickle cell also if they have any. he says he wont. he'll just adopt. he loaned money from people in pretext of buying a car but instead used it to buy his girl a ring.
the last straw is that he plans on marrying her in december but didnot tell his family not even his brothers that he is close to.. the girl n her parents r panning a wedding n i guess they must be footing the whole bill cos he sure as hell doesn't have any money. i mean i have my friends calling me saying oh congrats i heard ur cousins gettign married. mind u my aunt doesn't know abt this so called wedding plans. at that pt they had only met the girl n had never even met or talked to her parents. anyways i end up telling her abt the wedding. he acts indifferent when anyone talks tohim abt it. i means he doen't say a word. but yet stillplans on gettign married.
i know ur queston would be hwy would he alienate his family. they don't support the relationship for obvious reasons the sickle cell thing 1,
2) my uncle walked in on them 2ce having sex so he has no respect for her
3) they want him to finish his education even if not med school at least something so he can make money to provide for his family whih would be her if they do get marreid. i mean what is $10/hr going to do especially isnce he is d only one working n her medical condition.
but theri main qualm is the education thing.
so everyone swears that he has been put under a spell. i mean what kind of family does the girl haev anyways. won fe fi omo toro ni? ( r they trying to give thier chikd away) in our culture its just not doen. u don't just give ur child away tobe married without the mans family coming toask for her hand in marriage. my aunt swears they might as well wish her dead cos he is literally going home by himself as if he is saying he doesn't have a family.
the families finally met but only on a at least lets see who these peopek r basis. both fathers even agreed that they both want their kids to go school n finish up their education b4 any talks fo marriage. n here we r 4mths later. as we hear, the weddign plans r still commencing. still without us being involved or notified.
i told m y mom that i think my aunt should call the girls parents n say they heard so so and so n remind them that it wasn't the conclusion they came too when they met. but i come from a proud family n they refuse to have anything to do with them. allthis while, no on has said anything to the girl. they beleive that my cousin is their responsibility n hes d only one they should talk to.
initially when the girl started coming around, i had no ptroblems with her. but with all this stuff going on, i don't know. i kinda don't like her anymore cos i feel she is pressuring him n using what i feel is her voodoo ( not in the traditional way but in the way that she uses it as a leverage over him), her pussy, as a hold over him. i think he is pussy wiped. i am like a big sis to him so i am kinda close to him. i know his email password, n i have erad thru some of his text b4. some where he is begging ehr for it, some where they r fighting cos he went over to his parents house, somewhere she asked him to do something for her n when he refused she promised some sexual acts n he succomed. everything abt then togehter is so full of lies n deceit. i don't even know where to start. they go to church, they r both workers n it against their church doctorines to live together wivout being married so they lie to their pastor abt that. they put her car which was donated to her by the church ( i don't know why but they lied n said her paretns bought it) under my aunts insurance n my aunt was paying for it without knowing. they eventually got busted when she got in an accident. she is currently still marreid to soemone else which i guess is why they can't do the so called weddign here that it has to be done in naija.
i have even warned him that i would call ejire if she came back to the states after marrying him
of course my aunt n uncle have waged their own wars, his friends, siblings, but it all seems to be falling ondeaf ears.
so i guess u might see where my family cas say owo wan be( there r hands behind it) needless to say how may nit vigils, prayer partners here n nigeria that my aunt it rallying around. she even sends prayer request to the g.o of redemmed church
but i say, maybe my cousin is just acting out. i mean hes been the good boy allhis life n feels he is grown n wants to do whatever the heck,damn the consequences. u don't have to be charmed to do that. u can do that on ur own.
i even think that he may see evryones pt, but he has gone too deep n doesn't know how to get himself out of the whole situation without loosing her or without looking stupid n hearing i told u so.
i feel i shoulf reach out to him so atleast if thats the case he will have someone to confide in if he wants to. but i don't know how to do that for him cos obviously, i don't like his choices n the person he has become n i don't know how to act n petend everything is alright especially wiv her. i just kinda distnace my self from her. i really feel this is a big mistake for him but unfortunately he migh tnot know this tillits too late. the whle thing is just suspect, like her paretns r trying to force her on to whoever as soon as possible. i don't know if they r worried abt her life expentacny maybe thats why there is such abig rush.
so voodoo;wildoo or science. i think everything has an explanation.
sorry y'all but the spell check option has refusd to work n i am too tired n lazy to go thru tis my self. forgive the typos.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
voodoo;wildoo;science
My husband is ever so inquisitive abt nigeria n our culture. Sometimes it gets extremely annoying trying to put a line btw myths and reality. He always comes up wiv these off the wall questions like the other day he was asking me abt all these god n goddesses like shango, obatala n stuff. I remember being in elementary school in soemthing being mentioned abt them in my yoruba class. but honestly do u think i cared at the time. i think not. he just simply shakes his head n says i am a fake nigerian cos i never have answers to his questions.
i grew up in the shelters of the city surrounded by high walls n fences n the closest i got to things like that was our dreaded ile ya trips to the village. please even the village i mean was like living in the city. shoo same ole high fences and walls. the most we got of the locals was whatever we saw looking out of the windows or balcony. i don't think i have ever seen a mud house u know like the ones in those real old movies of iyalode n stuff or those hausa movies in my entire life.
anyways, we always end up in these conversations arguing whether it was voodoo or science.
uptil now as we all know people still vermentally believe in all this voodoo stuff. my husbands argues that there is white voodoo but that will probably be part 2. i don't know if its that i am too westernized n i simply choose to try not to believe in all that stuff but yet, i am scared as hell whenevr i am travelling to nigeria. u know all those family memebers u don't know coming to visit from the vilaleg once they get whiff that someone is in town. i don't even go visit my grandmother in the village when i go home. we always have someone go bring her over to lagos. the lady is like in her 90's n refuses to come live with any of her kids in lagos. she'ld rather stay by herself in ijebu. of course she has a little house girl that stays wiv her. even though she is always sending them away cos she claims they r stealing somethign from her it could be meat from the pot or something crazy like that.
but there r somethings that r just harboring on the borderline like
my grandfather went home for ileya one yearn he killed a ram, shared it amongst his family members n forgot to give some old lady that he ahs usually given every year. well he never makes it back home from the trip. he died on his way home
their explanation: the lady was a witch, did something to him cos she was mad. apparently, she confessed rigth b4 she died.
mines: he died from dehydration cos he had diarrhea on the way home.
another:
my dads friend died a couple of years ago,
their explanation: he worked in the tax office, he used to get big cutbacks from the companies he was auditing so they wouldn't have to pay their fines. anyways, he ususally gives the boys in his offcie a cut form the pie as they do all the leg work anyways. there was this particular firm that was audited that payed up but the guy told his boys that the firm never payed so hw wouldn't have to share the bucks. the gys got to know he had collected n where mad, they swore to him he would notlive to spend a dime of the money. well he atually never did. he died a couple of months later n the oney was found right where he had kept it, in his closet.
their explanation: the guys did voodoo n had his secretary put it in his tea. he was in the hospital 4 a couple of mths n had the doctor stumped. a freind had tried taking him holy water that had been prayed on by some woli but the freind had an accident on the way n the bottle broke.
mines: the vodoo was poison. the liver clears the body of toxins. so naturally the poison did havoc to his liver n his liver failed n d fact that he had been an alcholoic did not help his liver at all. tot he woli incident, co-incident?
another one:
my dads brother had come to visit from the united states. a couple of days b4 he was suppposed to leave, hispasssport got missing, n we search high n low n couldn't find it.
a friend of the family took us to some babalawo. myself, her 2 daughters and my dad.
d old guy told us only those that where pure of heart n not afraid could help.
he filled a calabash with water n asked us kids to look into it. n the face we see in it was the person who took it. i looked real hard n saw nothing. one of the other girls said she saw nothing 2. but the third girl said she saw the face of our house girl. i guess either i was not pure of heart or too scared cos i sure as hell did not see anything.
anyways he told us to go home, we would find it. we question d girl but she still claimed till tomorrow that she didn't take it. she got fired n a couple of days later we find it.
so was she d culprit? i don't know. did she leave it b4 she left. who knows or was it there all along n we just hadn't seen it.
anyways there is a reason 4 this voodoo question. i'll let u'all decide in the part 2 to this
i grew up in the shelters of the city surrounded by high walls n fences n the closest i got to things like that was our dreaded ile ya trips to the village. please even the village i mean was like living in the city. shoo same ole high fences and walls. the most we got of the locals was whatever we saw looking out of the windows or balcony. i don't think i have ever seen a mud house u know like the ones in those real old movies of iyalode n stuff or those hausa movies in my entire life.
anyways, we always end up in these conversations arguing whether it was voodoo or science.
uptil now as we all know people still vermentally believe in all this voodoo stuff. my husbands argues that there is white voodoo but that will probably be part 2. i don't know if its that i am too westernized n i simply choose to try not to believe in all that stuff but yet, i am scared as hell whenevr i am travelling to nigeria. u know all those family memebers u don't know coming to visit from the vilaleg once they get whiff that someone is in town. i don't even go visit my grandmother in the village when i go home. we always have someone go bring her over to lagos. the lady is like in her 90's n refuses to come live with any of her kids in lagos. she'ld rather stay by herself in ijebu. of course she has a little house girl that stays wiv her. even though she is always sending them away cos she claims they r stealing somethign from her it could be meat from the pot or something crazy like that.
but there r somethings that r just harboring on the borderline like
my grandfather went home for ileya one yearn he killed a ram, shared it amongst his family members n forgot to give some old lady that he ahs usually given every year. well he never makes it back home from the trip. he died on his way home
their explanation: the lady was a witch, did something to him cos she was mad. apparently, she confessed rigth b4 she died.
mines: he died from dehydration cos he had diarrhea on the way home.
another:
my dads friend died a couple of years ago,
their explanation: he worked in the tax office, he used to get big cutbacks from the companies he was auditing so they wouldn't have to pay their fines. anyways, he ususally gives the boys in his offcie a cut form the pie as they do all the leg work anyways. there was this particular firm that was audited that payed up but the guy told his boys that the firm never payed so hw wouldn't have to share the bucks. the gys got to know he had collected n where mad, they swore to him he would notlive to spend a dime of the money. well he atually never did. he died a couple of months later n the oney was found right where he had kept it, in his closet.
their explanation: the guys did voodoo n had his secretary put it in his tea. he was in the hospital 4 a couple of mths n had the doctor stumped. a freind had tried taking him holy water that had been prayed on by some woli but the freind had an accident on the way n the bottle broke.
mines: the vodoo was poison. the liver clears the body of toxins. so naturally the poison did havoc to his liver n his liver failed n d fact that he had been an alcholoic did not help his liver at all. tot he woli incident, co-incident?
another one:
my dads brother had come to visit from the united states. a couple of days b4 he was suppposed to leave, hispasssport got missing, n we search high n low n couldn't find it.
a friend of the family took us to some babalawo. myself, her 2 daughters and my dad.
d old guy told us only those that where pure of heart n not afraid could help.
he filled a calabash with water n asked us kids to look into it. n the face we see in it was the person who took it. i looked real hard n saw nothing. one of the other girls said she saw nothing 2. but the third girl said she saw the face of our house girl. i guess either i was not pure of heart or too scared cos i sure as hell did not see anything.
anyways he told us to go home, we would find it. we question d girl but she still claimed till tomorrow that she didn't take it. she got fired n a couple of days later we find it.
so was she d culprit? i don't know. did she leave it b4 she left. who knows or was it there all along n we just hadn't seen it.
anyways there is a reason 4 this voodoo question. i'll let u'all decide in the part 2 to this
Sunday, March 18, 2007
the wedding bells
did anyone watch the new show the weddign bells last week? i think it came on on friday nite. it was an absolute riot. i will definately be glued to my spot on the couch this week.
well, the episode kinda struck a cord with me. last weeks episode was centered on a couple getting married but everyone was against it, n her father refused to contribute anything finanically to the wedding, cos they all thot it was a fraud. everyone thot the groom was gay nmaybe in denial or the bride was being blindfolded. anyways even the officiating minister initially refused to marry them until he was blackmailed.
it so happend that the guy is very straight but he grew up in a gay household with his gay father n partner. so hence his flat out flaming character. i guess if it talks n walks like a hen doesn't necesarily mean its a hen. the guy wears a feather boa around his neck, has a high pithced voice, loud, talks gay, walks gay, most of his friends r gay or transvestites e.t.c
anyways i say it strikes a cord cos: ok i was having a conversation a couple of mths ago with my ever troubling causing brother in law. did i mention hs is gay? anyways i was telling him abt the fact that practically everyone that was on my wedding train 3yrs ago is getting marreid this year.
him: really everyone
me: yeah, of course except u
him: hmm, even the light skinned guy i think his name was dave
me: yeah, u met his fiance, she was on the train too
him: u for real, they r getting married
me: yeah
him: chuckles
me: what, why r u laughing?
him: nothing, nothing
me: nah, there has to bee a reason u r laughing
him: n u said she is ur friend
me: yeah, we've known each other since high school
him: hmm, i don't want o cos any trouble, i don't even know if u can tell ur friend, but dave is queer
me: what do u mean
him: he is definately gay bunmi
me: what, u r crazy, why would u say soemthing like that. they have been togehter for almost 6 yrs now
him: bunmi, u know i am gay right? so i know these things
me: u r really crazy
him: i spent soemtimw wiv him, i think he was trying to hit on me
me:????
him: during the wedding, he kept coming up n trying to talk to me
me: and so? maybe he was just trying to be friendly
him: bunmi, after the ceremony, he invited me to come change my clothes at his house, he lived nearby. why me out of all the guys there
me: like i said he knew u were from outta town n was being nice
him:anyways we went to his house
me: and?
him: chuckles, nothing, but his girl should be suspicious, cos she came home n was mad that i was there
me: ???
him: didn't unotice that they left the party early, she was still mad ( they did leave the wedding kinda early)
him: anyways, he is gay
me: did anything happen
him: i didnot say that, all i know is he is gay
me: now way u have it all wrong jose
n we left it at that. till date, i don't know if anything happened or maybe its just a figment og my brother in laws imagination but all i know is my self n the girls r in her wedding coming up in two mths. i did ask my girl friend why she left the party early, n she said she can't remember but she think she might have had a headache.
am i wrong for not bringing up these concerns? i don't really think its my place to meddle with soemthing so grave. but i keep wondering if it where me n if things actually turned out that the guy was gay n i didnot know n my friend did n she never said a word. i would be upset. i don't know. i have kept mute so far but i can't help but wonder sometimes n my girl is spending big time bucks on her wedding. she is paying a $100 per head for each guest at the wedding for the location n food. evrything else is extra.
me i don't know this one pass me small
well, the episode kinda struck a cord with me. last weeks episode was centered on a couple getting married but everyone was against it, n her father refused to contribute anything finanically to the wedding, cos they all thot it was a fraud. everyone thot the groom was gay nmaybe in denial or the bride was being blindfolded. anyways even the officiating minister initially refused to marry them until he was blackmailed.
it so happend that the guy is very straight but he grew up in a gay household with his gay father n partner. so hence his flat out flaming character. i guess if it talks n walks like a hen doesn't necesarily mean its a hen. the guy wears a feather boa around his neck, has a high pithced voice, loud, talks gay, walks gay, most of his friends r gay or transvestites e.t.c
anyways i say it strikes a cord cos: ok i was having a conversation a couple of mths ago with my ever troubling causing brother in law. did i mention hs is gay? anyways i was telling him abt the fact that practically everyone that was on my wedding train 3yrs ago is getting marreid this year.
him: really everyone
me: yeah, of course except u
him: hmm, even the light skinned guy i think his name was dave
me: yeah, u met his fiance, she was on the train too
him: u for real, they r getting married
me: yeah
him: chuckles
me: what, why r u laughing?
him: nothing, nothing
me: nah, there has to bee a reason u r laughing
him: n u said she is ur friend
me: yeah, we've known each other since high school
him: hmm, i don't want o cos any trouble, i don't even know if u can tell ur friend, but dave is queer
me: what do u mean
him: he is definately gay bunmi
me: what, u r crazy, why would u say soemthing like that. they have been togehter for almost 6 yrs now
him: bunmi, u know i am gay right? so i know these things
me: u r really crazy
him: i spent soemtimw wiv him, i think he was trying to hit on me
me:????
him: during the wedding, he kept coming up n trying to talk to me
me: and so? maybe he was just trying to be friendly
him: bunmi, after the ceremony, he invited me to come change my clothes at his house, he lived nearby. why me out of all the guys there
me: like i said he knew u were from outta town n was being nice
him:anyways we went to his house
me: and?
him: chuckles, nothing, but his girl should be suspicious, cos she came home n was mad that i was there
me: ???
him: didn't unotice that they left the party early, she was still mad ( they did leave the wedding kinda early)
him: anyways, he is gay
me: did anything happen
him: i didnot say that, all i know is he is gay
me: now way u have it all wrong jose
n we left it at that. till date, i don't know if anything happened or maybe its just a figment og my brother in laws imagination but all i know is my self n the girls r in her wedding coming up in two mths. i did ask my girl friend why she left the party early, n she said she can't remember but she think she might have had a headache.
am i wrong for not bringing up these concerns? i don't really think its my place to meddle with soemthing so grave. but i keep wondering if it where me n if things actually turned out that the guy was gay n i didnot know n my friend did n she never said a word. i would be upset. i don't know. i have kept mute so far but i can't help but wonder sometimes n my girl is spending big time bucks on her wedding. she is paying a $100 per head for each guest at the wedding for the location n food. evrything else is extra.
me i don't know this one pass me small
Thursday, March 15, 2007
same but different
i attended a friends weekend of wedding events n it was sooo much fun. i was husband free, children free for a whole weekend in the mist of my friends and it was just too good. hmmm too bad it couldn't last longer.
anyways, it was a melting of culture. my friends yoruban her husband is igbo. u would think in this day n age it would be just like anyother affair but its unbelievable how much prejudice is still out there even to some extent animosity btw the igbos n yorubas.
i remember when my dad thot i was dating this guy actually the groom n he practically called a family meeting promising me to diswon me if i continued datring him. n he was just my firend at the time. a cousin of mine's wife has been practically diswoned by her father cos she married a yoruba man. Isn't it this same nigeria that we r from. i can imagine someone saying oh i can't marry you cos i am from north carolina n u r a newyorker.
anyway the main parties i.e the bride n groom's family were pretty much at ease. it was the spectators that were something else. i call them the alarenas.
i know our cultures r very different. n the way things r done r different in respect to ceremonies but there were a couple of things that were a little bothersome to me though.
i can tell u right now, those traditional engagements bore the hell out of me. so i stayed with my friend (the bride) oh yeah i am friends with both the bride n groom. but anyways i stayed with her outside for the moset part waiting for her to be called on. all that waiting is aggravating. but what can u do. so for most part most i missed most of the ceremony. if u've seen one, u have seen them all as far as i am concerned. but trust that i didn't miss much as the alarenas did not fail in their duties to complain after it was done.
here r two yoruba ladies talking:
lady 1: me i can never marry igbo people oh! no wonder yorubas have so much prejudice against them. they r so proud n arrogant. imagine!
lady 2: yes oh! imagine their alagaduro (she is referrignto the spokes people for the grooms side) beign so full of himself. she they didn't know b4 that they were marryign a yoruba wife. ist off when the groom came in , the brides side told him he would be fined for wearing his hat into the ceremony. its a sign of disrespect. i don't know what the grooms alagaduro said to him but , he didn't pay fine nor remove the hat.
lady 1: did u see when they told the groom to dobale(prostrate) for the brides family n he refused n just stretched out his hands. the alagaduro said they were not inlaws yet so.........
n i am thinking to my self, they both have differnet cultures, maybe things r done differently in the igbo culture.
on the other hand i heard another couple sitting in the back complaining
abeg, how could chika let them do the ceremony like this. this is a typical yoruba engagement. where is our culture.
i said u can't please anybody. i have never been to a traditonal weddign aside the yoruba ones n muslims ceremony. can anyone enlighten me about how the igbo ceremonies r done.
"the common talk is that in the igbo culture, since the grooms family pays alot of dowry money,they pretty much run the show n call the shots". but as far as yorubas go, the engagement is the brides familys show.
mu cousin is also going thru similar predicament. the brides family expect him to be in charge of the wedding (financially) i guess cos thats their culture? even though they r d ones wiv the money n as far was we r concerned, the brides family is the one that hones in on the wedding. i think thats what it is supposed to be traditionally. i know during my wedding my family took care of most of the things. it just kinda worked that way.
anyways, i guess i want to be schooled. my ears r open
anyways, it was a melting of culture. my friends yoruban her husband is igbo. u would think in this day n age it would be just like anyother affair but its unbelievable how much prejudice is still out there even to some extent animosity btw the igbos n yorubas.
i remember when my dad thot i was dating this guy actually the groom n he practically called a family meeting promising me to diswon me if i continued datring him. n he was just my firend at the time. a cousin of mine's wife has been practically diswoned by her father cos she married a yoruba man. Isn't it this same nigeria that we r from. i can imagine someone saying oh i can't marry you cos i am from north carolina n u r a newyorker.
anyway the main parties i.e the bride n groom's family were pretty much at ease. it was the spectators that were something else. i call them the alarenas.
i know our cultures r very different. n the way things r done r different in respect to ceremonies but there were a couple of things that were a little bothersome to me though.
i can tell u right now, those traditional engagements bore the hell out of me. so i stayed with my friend (the bride) oh yeah i am friends with both the bride n groom. but anyways i stayed with her outside for the moset part waiting for her to be called on. all that waiting is aggravating. but what can u do. so for most part most i missed most of the ceremony. if u've seen one, u have seen them all as far as i am concerned. but trust that i didn't miss much as the alarenas did not fail in their duties to complain after it was done.
here r two yoruba ladies talking:
lady 1: me i can never marry igbo people oh! no wonder yorubas have so much prejudice against them. they r so proud n arrogant. imagine!
lady 2: yes oh! imagine their alagaduro (she is referrignto the spokes people for the grooms side) beign so full of himself. she they didn't know b4 that they were marryign a yoruba wife. ist off when the groom came in , the brides side told him he would be fined for wearing his hat into the ceremony. its a sign of disrespect. i don't know what the grooms alagaduro said to him but , he didn't pay fine nor remove the hat.
lady 1: did u see when they told the groom to dobale(prostrate) for the brides family n he refused n just stretched out his hands. the alagaduro said they were not inlaws yet so.........
n i am thinking to my self, they both have differnet cultures, maybe things r done differently in the igbo culture.
on the other hand i heard another couple sitting in the back complaining
abeg, how could chika let them do the ceremony like this. this is a typical yoruba engagement. where is our culture.
i said u can't please anybody. i have never been to a traditonal weddign aside the yoruba ones n muslims ceremony. can anyone enlighten me about how the igbo ceremonies r done.
"the common talk is that in the igbo culture, since the grooms family pays alot of dowry money,they pretty much run the show n call the shots". but as far as yorubas go, the engagement is the brides familys show.
mu cousin is also going thru similar predicament. the brides family expect him to be in charge of the wedding (financially) i guess cos thats their culture? even though they r d ones wiv the money n as far was we r concerned, the brides family is the one that hones in on the wedding. i think thats what it is supposed to be traditionally. i know during my wedding my family took care of most of the things. it just kinda worked that way.
anyways, i guess i want to be schooled. my ears r open
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
AWOL and back
My dearblogville family, i really went awol on u guys. my bad. thanks for all the concern, omara, remi, chioma, wafarian. didn't mean to get u'all worried.
I had an unexpected guest. a very old friend called out of the blues from naija n said she was coming visiting in 2days. shes a childhood friend n i hadn't seen her in a bit. on her ist nite over, we were up till 4 a.m talking n catching up. anyways u know how it is when people from naija come here. its shopping galore so for a whole week, i put on flats n headed out each day for a new shopping destination. it doesn't help that she fled from man trouble in naija( her boyfriend was being an ass n she just took off wivout telling him anything just to give him something to think about n time too). n we all know how good therapy shopping n sweets can be for troubled hearts. don't worry she did ost of d spending n eating. i was just an observer. oh btw did i mention that i lost almost 14 pounds. i guess hanging out at the gym wiv those crazy whte chicks paid off after all. omara we will talk later.
anyways, right after she left, i had to make a trip out of town for one of my "weddings". it was great. i have somethings to ask u'all abt. in my nxt post.
when i got back, i came back to chaios. n my husband deared to think that my presence here is not vital. i think not. came home to both my computers not working, the key to my car wouldn't turn in the ignition. the dish washer broken cos hubby was trying to do dishes. so i was without access to the internet for a bit there. n boy did i feel like i was in the dark ages. shoo, i was almost convinced i was living right out of a cave.
i have gotten everything sorted n back up n running so i should be good for a while until lazyness to type sets in.
just wanted to let u'all know i was back. i will put something up again later in the day.
I had an unexpected guest. a very old friend called out of the blues from naija n said she was coming visiting in 2days. shes a childhood friend n i hadn't seen her in a bit. on her ist nite over, we were up till 4 a.m talking n catching up. anyways u know how it is when people from naija come here. its shopping galore so for a whole week, i put on flats n headed out each day for a new shopping destination. it doesn't help that she fled from man trouble in naija( her boyfriend was being an ass n she just took off wivout telling him anything just to give him something to think about n time too). n we all know how good therapy shopping n sweets can be for troubled hearts. don't worry she did ost of d spending n eating. i was just an observer. oh btw did i mention that i lost almost 14 pounds. i guess hanging out at the gym wiv those crazy whte chicks paid off after all. omara we will talk later.
anyways, right after she left, i had to make a trip out of town for one of my "weddings". it was great. i have somethings to ask u'all abt. in my nxt post.
when i got back, i came back to chaios. n my husband deared to think that my presence here is not vital. i think not. came home to both my computers not working, the key to my car wouldn't turn in the ignition. the dish washer broken cos hubby was trying to do dishes. so i was without access to the internet for a bit there. n boy did i feel like i was in the dark ages. shoo, i was almost convinced i was living right out of a cave.
i have gotten everything sorted n back up n running so i should be good for a while until lazyness to type sets in.
just wanted to let u'all know i was back. i will put something up again later in the day.
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