same but different

i attended a friends weekend of wedding events n it was sooo much fun. i was husband free, children free for a whole weekend in the mist of my friends and it was just too good. hmmm too bad it couldn't last longer.

anyways, it was a melting of culture. my friends yoruban her husband is igbo. u would think in this day n age it would be just like anyother affair but its unbelievable how much prejudice is still out there even to some extent animosity btw the igbos n yorubas.

i remember when my dad thot i was dating this guy actually the groom n he practically called a family meeting promising me to diswon me if i continued datring him. n he was just my firend at the time. a cousin of mine's wife has been practically diswoned by her father cos she married a yoruba man. Isn't it this same nigeria that we r from. i can imagine someone saying oh i can't marry you cos i am from north carolina n u r a newyorker.

anyway the main parties i.e the bride n groom's family were pretty much at ease. it was the spectators that were something else. i call them the alarenas.

i know our cultures r very different. n the way things r done r different in respect to ceremonies but there were a couple of things that were a little bothersome to me though.

i can tell u right now, those traditional engagements bore the hell out of me. so i stayed with my friend (the bride) oh yeah i am friends with both the bride n groom. but anyways i stayed with her outside for the moset part waiting for her to be called on. all that waiting is aggravating. but what can u do. so for most part most i missed most of the ceremony. if u've seen one, u have seen them all as far as i am concerned. but trust that i didn't miss much as the alarenas did not fail in their duties to complain after it was done.

here r two yoruba ladies talking:
lady 1: me i can never marry igbo people oh! no wonder yorubas have so much prejudice against them. they r so proud n arrogant. imagine!
lady 2: yes oh! imagine their alagaduro (she is referrignto the spokes people for the grooms side) beign so full of himself. she they didn't know b4 that they were marryign a yoruba wife. ist off when the groom came in , the brides side told him he would be fined for wearing his hat into the ceremony. its a sign of disrespect. i don't know what the grooms alagaduro said to him but , he didn't pay fine nor remove the hat.
lady 1: did u see when they told the groom to dobale(prostrate) for the brides family n he refused n just stretched out his hands. the alagaduro said they were not inlaws yet so.........


n i am thinking to my self, they both have differnet cultures, maybe things r done differently in the igbo culture.

on the other hand i heard another couple sitting in the back complaining
abeg, how could chika let them do the ceremony like this. this is a typical yoruba engagement. where is our culture.


i said u can't please anybody. i have never been to a traditonal weddign aside the yoruba ones n muslims ceremony. can anyone enlighten me about how the igbo ceremonies r done.

"the common talk is that in the igbo culture, since the grooms family pays alot of dowry money,they pretty much run the show n call the shots". but as far as yorubas go, the engagement is the brides familys show.

mu cousin is also going thru similar predicament. the brides family expect him to be in charge of the wedding (financially) i guess cos thats their culture? even though they r d ones wiv the money n as far was we r concerned, the brides family is the one that hones in on the wedding. i think thats what it is supposed to be traditionally. i know during my wedding my family took care of most of the things. it just kinda worked that way.

anyways, i guess i want to be schooled. my ears r open