feels good to be back !!

Wow !! Its been almost 2mths since i have been away from everyone.



First of, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY A BIG VOTE OF THANKS TO ALL OF YOU THAT SENT THEIR LOVE, ADVICE, PRAYERS AND CONCERN. I wont start to mention names but y'all know who u are. And for those that contacted me personally, thanks can never be enough. And most importantly I would like to thank my Father up in heaven for the gift of life and for being my pillar of strenght. what award did i win again??



I really felt guilty for leaving like that again. I know some may have even given up on my blog. i think even I gave up on myself. I can only ask that y'all bear with me. Oh, not becos i have issues but we all get tired and lazy sometimes. But this my own laziness get one kind sha:)



Anyways, I am still very married. I have gotten somekind, n i say somekind of closure form my last episodes. Abeg I am not the only one alive so the devil better watch himseff and stay on vacation permenantley. Well that is my prayer n I am sticking with it.



If i say i haven't lost the urge to blog i would definatley be lying.

Also i kinda got tired of always blogging abt some craziness or the other. But then if I don't do my rants and ravings here where else will I do it. I figure it is better here than me bottling it all up sha.



So i will try to work on keeping it clean and happy. So happy thots happy thots (thats me meditating).



If i occasionally start my wahala stories, bear with me abeg. Thats just life dishing its usual and besides ain't drama good read anyways?



So on the up side, the girls are doing so well in school. Extremely well adjusted. Infact they get upset when we come pick them up. Especially olivia. She practically slams down whatever she is holding n grudgingly picks up her things. It can't mean nothing but she is happy where she is right?

work is great. but not without its drama. i know already right? what do u expect when u work with women. ok i must make a diclaimer before saying this but especially when they r all white. i fell like i constantly have to watch my back and cover my ass. i think they feel threatened by me. some of them i don't even understand .especially one who constantly compars herself to me n is kinda jealous cos i am new n i have neem given quite a load of responsibility. she has been there longer but the thing is hello, u only have a certificate n i bagged the degree! she practically sulks all day but i just ignore here n do my work. After all thats what iam there for. maybe i will psot abt work next blog. this was supposed to be a quick update not another rant session. i have already started with drama. at least i tried it wasn't in the ist nor 2nd paragraph:)
I like what i do so far so thats the most important part actually not the paycheck at the end of the week is the good part.

All my weddings went well. The girls where actually in two. all out of town. so a goos portion of my checks has been going into weddings n things. i am swearing off weddings for the rest of the year. even though i still have two more but i may have to just shenk them cos they r both in naija. my hubby will just kill me. i really went overboard with the last two weddings. hmm that sounds like another happy post for another day. i would have put up picks but i am sure u all understand my trying to keep my identity well under wraps. i give u'all a pretty good amt of inof abt me that i would never reveal to anyone else so just enjoy the priviledge.


hmm what else? well this was just mean to be an update so i will keep it simple and sweet.

so here share a toast with me. to happy new beginings and endings. here here. my glass of greygoose and cranberry is getting empty. so gotta go refill.

The devil vacations

i was supposed to be back to blogging. with full joyfull accounts of my new job, how things haev been working out n all. but i think i got swiped by the devil. i was too slow i guess u snooze u loose. i should have taken my chance while the devil was on vacation.

well, the Devils back. maybe he had a terrible vacation somewhere n chooses to use me as a ounching bag cos he sure isd hitting hard n below the belly.

the or5iginal good news was that the jobs going very well. counldn't have asked for better at this time. the kids r extremely well adjusated at shcool. they seemed to fit right in.

now the other news is, i know this might coemas a shocker cos i think i am still really in disbelief.

hubby left us yesterday. yep i mean he packed his bags n he left. don't know where he is. i don't know where to start but the bottom line is i came back home to chaos. i opened his cellphone bill like i always do n noticed it was unsually high. brough it to his attention though he was kinda upset that it was that high, when i voluntered to take it up with the company, he kinda blew it off.

well i did investigate, i couldn't let it go. well i did find what i was looking for n more. over six mths worht of phone calls n text messages to 2 particular numbers that i did not recognize. at odd hr of the day. got acess to a couple of his text messages asking a certain female to be his friend again n then arrangements for them to meet.

i confronted him. we went thru the usual men bullshit. trying to turn things around on me. he eventually volunteerd that she was just a friend n she was going thru a rough time. blah blah blah. so who appointed u father xmas or better still i was aware that u had changed professions n become a therapist.

looked thru his phone book n ther n behold was the number stored under his guy friends name. i guess his friend had allof a sudden moved from maryland to atlanta cos now he has a atlanta number stored under his name.

yes i am airing out all my dirty laundry here. cos i wont tell anyone yet not even my mom. i don't think i can stand any i told u so right now. n i don't think i need the barage of phone calls either.

anyways, we kinda tralke d abt it. he begged me to let it go. then he called me at work the next day just to let me know that i had caused the girl to be kicked out of where she was staying. what the fuck!!! how in the world is that my problem?

yes i had called her in the midst of our argument so we could all tlak n get everythign out int he open. ofcourse he wouldn't so i ended up calling twice n hanging up cos he wouldn't say anything. but i guess her boyfriend or husnabd or whatever did not find it funny n maybe there ahd been other issues but that really isn't my concern. obvisously he must have felt she was doing something dirty b4 he went to the extent of kickign her out.

now back to my pwn problem. all hell has broken loose at this pt. i had been mentally preparing my self to find a way to work things out. according to hime it as nothing sexualn she was just a friend. silly me.

anyways i get home from work. n he is asking us to put this behind us. ok i am like fine. but i need to kown what happened. what is her name? how did u meet n what happened.

my husband became mute oh! refused to talk. all he was concerned abt was how i found out n why was i going thru his phone records.

at the end of the day. i hotld him i would move on if i could but what am i moving on from?. what happened? still wouldn't talk. told him that at this pt if he can't let it go n be more forthcoming and open abt it then obviosuly it was more serous than he makes it out to be n it means more to him. he had a choice to make at this pt. its either her n her kid or me n mines.


he's packed some of his things n gone. not a word.

its mothers day n i sure as hell don't know where my husband is.

i haven't cried or anything. i am not scared either i think i am still just in shock.

i guess part of me thinks he will be back at the same time part of me is begining to think abt what i am going to do with these kids. i sure as hell can't afford this darn mortgage with the girls tuition n other household bills.

i guess i better being realistic n start looking for an apartment. i am not moving back home cos i just started this job n i really like it. its given me the break that i have been looking for.


i have alot going on in my head right now n i probably won't be blogging for a while till i get things in some sort of order.


sooo, i am signign off yet again for another while. i guess till the devil goes on vacation again

my bad

sorry all. i am still here in austin n i only have internet access at work. n i keep reading all these memos n emails abt not using the internet for personal business so i try to limit my use.

i will be back home friday. tomorrow is my last day at work here in austin so i will be back on my blog pretty soon.

missed my blog fam. hope y'all have been good. haven't even had a chance to read anybodys blog 4 the last 2wks i think except for omara's


tata y'all. will be back

As it all begins

wow! this has surely been a hectice week. I even only managed to squeeze the gym in once so far. considering i try to keep to a minimum of 3-4 times a week. Don't worry its a pretty new resolution. i haven't been holding out on u'all that much.

I have been visiting and touring preschools all week for the girls. I knew this time would come pretty soon, and I was actually doing my research slowly but now its come to push or shove. I blogged abt some interview a while back. (omara if u remember we talked abt it) but anyways i finally got a callfrom them on tuesday. And i am quite sure its due to my persistent stalking. But non the lest, I finally got that call n they want me to start nxt tuesday. Ok see what i have put on my self. i have been praying abt it n i asked God to do it speedily but i don't quite think I thot it would be soo soon.

So hence, I am left with the dilema of what to do with the girls. I t really shouldn't be that hard considering that there are gazillions of schools nested around but thats the problem really too many n li know nothing abt them. no recs form peopel cos i don't know anyone in the area. Yeah I am pretty much a home buddy n a loner. I didn't even know that my nxt door neighbour of over a yr now actually has a daughter thats around the girls ages. she's going to be 4 later this yr. n i am seriuos she lives at the next house on my left. not a couple of houses of over. didn't know till yesterday when i was out on the front yard trying to spark a new hobby. gardening. anyways the little girl n her dad where walking towards us n i noticed the girls had stopp picking up the leaves i had asked them to n where focusing on something else, as i looked up, i saw them all walking towards the little girl big grins on their face. she was holding out a golf ball in her hand that she had found and was beckoning them to come take a look. anyways long story short thats how i found out they lived nxt door

so where was I again? anyways, i asked the girls pediatrician and dentist and they recommended a couple like that their job. but i amgrateful they had some. so i started wiv those ist then embarked on the rest.

if i should blog abt the whole school process in its entirety, this will be one hella of long blog. but i will spare u. maybe nxt blog. but i do know i never thot it would be this hard. but u know what, i often find it extremely annoying shopping for the girls cos most often time i can't find three of the same size esecially in shoes so i really shouldn't have been surprised that i got alot of oh its so late in the school yr n we don't have three spaces. so what do u want me to do? do ini mini mani mo n leave one of the girls at home?

some of the places i went to schould be called daycare or babysitters. i mean u can tell that they probably don't do much but sleep n play. I want a place where my kids r going to be challenged. shoo let them come home with home work n mommy will have to take a steo back to see if she is smarter than a preschooler (lol) any one wathces that show?

I swear i wish i could send the girls back home to school. i so much chericsh the education n the standard that we were held to back home. i think by 2 at least, we had started school. my hubby who hasn't ever been in naija, has so much respect for the system. he actually suggested it first. but i will absolutely not part wit my babies. then there is the option of me going with them, what in d world am i supposed to do back home? all my immediate family is here in the states.

anyways after all the headache n heartache of falling in luv with one school to be told that they had to have been three by last september b4 they can enter the 3 yr old class. what d fuck. why call it the threee yr old clas? thats soo misleading. it should have been called the pre 4. or the i don't have three spaces ot i don't have partt time space. bla bla blah. I finally found my diamond in the rough.

Its abt 15 mins from the hosue with no traffice but 4 miles from hubbys office. it has the three day program cos my schedule is for three days a week so i have a four day weekend. oh just the best. couldn't have asked for better. its a private christian school. the class size is very small. ratio of 1:6. they had three spaces. oh i mean they made the three spaces. they actually moved two kids up to the nxt class cos just to accomodate us. but the kids where ready to be moved up anyways academically n maturity wise. n actually they really only had to move one but the other third one had togo too cos they were best friends n they didn't want to be seperated. worked perfectly. even though i will be shelving out more than i really want to , but they r my babies they deserve nothing but the best. i think they also had diversity to the program. cos i didn't see any other black kids as i toured. oh well!

everything seemed to be falling in place till i got a call today from my employers that they would be moving 2weeks of my training to austin. Big SHIT. i don't know if that man will cop with the girls n taking care of them n gettignthem up ready for school. he can hardly wake up on time on his own in the am. i am virtually his alarm clock.


i have thot of sending them to my mom in md, but 1, she works 2, the tickets r ridiculous last minute. i am going to have to come back on the weekend n go back just for peace of mind n i still have to figure something else out for during the week.


i have been praying to join the world of working moms out there but now that i can practically taste it, i don't know. 2wks away from home!!! i know omara, u r probably saying peace of cake. :)

nntm

Another sereis of reality tv hits nigeria

nigerias next top model.

would love to watch it. dont know when its being aired but i do know that anyone who went to boarding school in nigeria will agree that bunch of women living together under the same roof will definatley brew some drama.

u should read peoples reactions to this.

http://perezhilton.com/topics/reality_television/are_you_ready_for_20070406.php

p.s i just finally figured how to add pics. my next conquest is videos. wish me luck

back to the basics

i started out blogging so i can chronicle my adventures as a mother of multiples living the life as a suburbia housewife n i was reading thru my prior blogs n only found 2 at most mentioning or talking abt the girls.

not that there is ever a dull moment with them, its actually the contrary. there is always something new n fun or some headaches n those many moments that i wish i could just take then back to the doctor and ask for a refund. oh well, i think he's policy probabaly doesn't allow for refunds anyways.

my latest battles besides the one over veggie eating is tantrums. i know all ye moms out there r already nodding ur heads n saying been there done that. i know the girls r just three. oh btw, they turned three on saturday, but i just cannot stand the temper tantrums especially when we r out. i can definately handle it when we r home. thats no problem.

like i said in earlier posts, my husband n i definatley believe in discipline. abeg spare the rod n spoit the child seems to be our motto. trust me. we don't resort to spanking all the time. we go thru the stages or phases. we talk it thru. but they r only 3 do they really understand? i think for the most part they do. if that doesn't seem to work, then we threaten to take away the things they love. its funny but i have to threaten them with different things.

with olivia, thats my supermodel/fashionista. when i put them to bed at nite, she gets up goes thur their closet modeling all her clothes. needless to say she is never in her pjs when i go back in the morning. she has a pretty good fashion sense too, she matches when i find her in the morning n when i go shopping, u should see her go thru the racks like she's on a missiosn. when i try something on, she tells me mommy, its cute. So u guessed right when she gets in trouble, i threaten to take away all her clothes n give them to the homeless if she does it again, u should see her start to cry n shake her head n the look in her eyes.

with ophelia, she loves her sunglasses. she sleeps in them, its war to get her to take it off even for baths n she has quite a collection of them so its easy. i go staraight for the sunglasses.

oralia, loves to go to the gym. mummy mummy wanna go to gym. all day long. sometimes i go even when i am not really planning on it just to get her off my back. its kinda a good thing for me though. i guess she loves the play houses n all the other things they get to do. i always wondered why they r soo hungry n tired when i pick them up. shoo i think they get more of a workout than i do.


so after the threatening phase, if they do something really bad, i ask them to hold out their hands and smack the back of it. just once or twice. it seems to do the trick.

but it gets tricky when we r out n u all know how things r. don't let one busy body see u spanking ur kids outside n they call child protective services right away. so i try not to in public. i may however sneak some pinches away from the watchful eyes of people or take them into the bathroom. but soemtimes i may not have that luxury.

for example, one of the thigns we did for their bday was chucky cheese. now, one of the rides takes pictures of u while u are on it. olivia and oralia were on it. so of course they were both in the picture. olivia always being her controlling self. was already yelling thats my picture even b4 the picture came out. so anywyas there was a squable over the picture. olivia then takes it upon herslef to throw a tantrum right there on the floor with everyone watching. needless to say it was embarassing, then my inpatient mother in law who forgets that they r just kids n will act out everyonce in a while starts gettign quite agitated that she is displaying such in public. if she had let me handle the situation, i probably could have gotten her settled alot sooner or just simply escaped to the restroom. i think every one knows there is no reasoning per say with an angry child like that. i mean she was screaming the roof down. eventually we end up abandoning the party cos she took her outside n we just decided to leave as the whole mood had been spoilt. can u imagine she didn't even want to ride with us back home, my mother in law that is. i guess its too embarassing to be associated with us. luckliy my brother inlaw was there so he took her home. whatever!!!!

so back to my point, i really want to nip this tantrum thing in the butt b4 it gets out of hands. any suggestions?


another thing that i have been struggling with is the thumb sucking. my husband is sooo particular abt that. he is so concerned abt them having an over bite n then needing braces. well their dentist says she will be very concerned after 4 cos then they would start getting their permanent teeth in. but its better if we start trying to get them to stop now.

the last time i tied their thumbs up so that they wouldn't suck it, the whole house did not sleep that nite. they tossed n turned n cried all nite. at abt 4a.m, my husband stormed out of bed n yanked the things of. he had to be at work in the morning and had had enough.

so any pointers on that would be appreciated too.


its gettign a little harder to keep them all in the same ouftit. cos they r begining to want to do their own things. i wonder how much longer i'll be able to keep dressing them the way i want.

and last but not the least, i can't teach them how to peddle for the life of me. they got a bike for xmas, n they r still sitting brand new in their paly room cos they won't peddle. i am not the most patient person so i must admitt i kinda gave up on that. besides shouldn't that be a daddy's thing.

its official, the war has begun

i got a call abt 10.45 p.m, it was my aunt calling to tell me that if her son came to me n asked me to accompany him to naija to get married in december, i shouldn't anwser him. everyone in the family has been banned from having anything to do withthis so called wedding.

i see the coward of a boy has fianlly fessed up to my aunt abt his wedding plans. can u imagine, my aunt says she calle dhim to come take her to a birthday party, then on the way in the car he told her, mom i am planning on getting married in december in naija. just thot i'ld let u know.

then he goes on to say after all when u were getting marreid, did ur own mother tell u when to get married or when u were ready to get married.

my ist question to my aunt was did she give him a dirty slap. what kind of question is that.

u know maybe b4 i became a mother, the question or remark may not haev bothered me but i can just imagine one of my girls saying that to me. ludacris i say.

anyways, the war is officially on now. my aunt is even calling all his friends that she knows that they must not go to naija with him. i don't know what good that would do though. seems like his mind is made up.

my own thing is i just can't get over what kind of family plans a weddign for their daughter without the grooms family coming to ask for ther hand in marriage. how can they plan a wedding knowing that no one in the grooms family is going to show up for.

well kudos to my cousin sha cos it sure as hell takes guts to be a lone ranger like that.

i really feel like my aunt should call her parents n let them know that hey have heard of the proposed wedding n tell them how they feel abt it. afterall r they wishing them dead that they would hold a wedding while they r hale n hearty in their absence. i am sure they wouldn't stand their own kids doing the same to them.

how do u tell ur parents that u r gettign married n just telling them for their information. aren't u supposed to sit them down, with or without the girl n let them know that this is where u r n this is what u would like to do n then talks commence from there.

i say the boy has lost it. my uncle says nko imi wani ibe. there is soemthing else behind this. oju lasan ko. this is beyond what the mere eyes can see.

voodoo;wildoo:science part ii

so i started asking all those questinos cos my family is hell bent that soemone has charmed my cousin with voodoo.

i can see where they can get the notion but yet i say i have a logical explanation or it.

my cousin is a young lad. probably abt 24. he was blessed with brains. scholary. in elementary school, it was double promotion upon double promotion. he entered secondary school quite young too. either 8 or 9 sha. when his class mates where like 11 or 12 yr olds in jss 1.

his high school storied where hilarious. the funniest i remember was how much people took advantage of him being so young n naive. by big mistake, my aunt put him in boarding school. mayflower i beleive it is in remo, ogun state. big disaster. his school father used to send him to go buy bread n sardines for him with his ( cousins) own pocket money. even when the money was supposed to be for supplies like books. he went to school with all the necessities n more n came back home with an empty suitcase that had been riped open with a knife n all its content stolen, the shirt on his back n the shorts he was wearing. that was it. everything else had been stolen, his underwear, shoes everything. it was afunny sight. he even came home sick cos he had fallen into the incinerator. ( a place that housed all the shit n poop from all the dorms) the darn thing had no cover n it was a rainy day n he was running to his dorm. (ope no one is in the middle of a meal sorry for the graphics). we all werent surprised that he didn't last more than one sememster.

anyways back to the main story. he graduated high school at 14 or so n was one of the youngest at ui. the boy cleared 5 subjects of the g.c.e advanced levels like no mans business. i remember struggling to get thru three of the o'levels. anyways he came to the states n things just werent the same. i say he lost discipline. not uncommon. what mystifies everyone is his current life stlye. he took the mcats to get into med school. i think he scored 28. which i deem extremly good for soemone who never studied. he took ht exam n never once picked up his books to study for it. he has had a number of schools call on him for interviews but he never seems to follow up.
he moved out of his parents where his lucky ass was being taken care of. he never had to pay any bills. even up to the car he was driivng, it was paid for. he decided to move in with his girl friend. ever since that girl has been in h is life things just havn't been the same. his extremely deceitful. lies abt every n anything. he works for some oncologist making miserly bucks that is hardly enough to pay his rent. oh mind u the girl doesn't work. so he is taking care of both of them.

she has sickle cell. ss and he is a carrier.as. so there is a 75% chance theri kids will have sickle cell also if they have any. he says he wont. he'll just adopt. he loaned money from people in pretext of buying a car but instead used it to buy his girl a ring.

the last straw is that he plans on marrying her in december but didnot tell his family not even his brothers that he is close to.. the girl n her parents r panning a wedding n i guess they must be footing the whole bill cos he sure as hell doesn't have any money. i mean i have my friends calling me saying oh congrats i heard ur cousins gettign married. mind u my aunt doesn't know abt this so called wedding plans. at that pt they had only met the girl n had never even met or talked to her parents. anyways i end up telling her abt the wedding. he acts indifferent when anyone talks tohim abt it. i means he doen't say a word. but yet stillplans on gettign married.

i know ur queston would be hwy would he alienate his family. they don't support the relationship for obvious reasons the sickle cell thing 1,
2) my uncle walked in on them 2ce having sex so he has no respect for her
3) they want him to finish his education even if not med school at least something so he can make money to provide for his family whih would be her if they do get marreid. i mean what is $10/hr going to do especially isnce he is d only one working n her medical condition.

but theri main qualm is the education thing.

so everyone swears that he has been put under a spell. i mean what kind of family does the girl haev anyways. won fe fi omo toro ni? ( r they trying to give thier chikd away) in our culture its just not doen. u don't just give ur child away tobe married without the mans family coming toask for her hand in marriage. my aunt swears they might as well wish her dead cos he is literally going home by himself as if he is saying he doesn't have a family.

the families finally met but only on a at least lets see who these peopek r basis. both fathers even agreed that they both want their kids to go school n finish up their education b4 any talks fo marriage. n here we r 4mths later. as we hear, the weddign plans r still commencing. still without us being involved or notified.

i told m y mom that i think my aunt should call the girls parents n say they heard so so and so n remind them that it wasn't the conclusion they came too when they met. but i come from a proud family n they refuse to have anything to do with them. allthis while, no on has said anything to the girl. they beleive that my cousin is their responsibility n hes d only one they should talk to.

initially when the girl started coming around, i had no ptroblems with her. but with all this stuff going on, i don't know. i kinda don't like her anymore cos i feel she is pressuring him n using what i feel is her voodoo ( not in the traditional way but in the way that she uses it as a leverage over him), her pussy, as a hold over him. i think he is pussy wiped. i am like a big sis to him so i am kinda close to him. i know his email password, n i have erad thru some of his text b4. some where he is begging ehr for it, some where they r fighting cos he went over to his parents house, somewhere she asked him to do something for her n when he refused she promised some sexual acts n he succomed. everything abt then togehter is so full of lies n deceit. i don't even know where to start. they go to church, they r both workers n it against their church doctorines to live together wivout being married so they lie to their pastor abt that. they put her car which was donated to her by the church ( i don't know why but they lied n said her paretns bought it) under my aunts insurance n my aunt was paying for it without knowing. they eventually got busted when she got in an accident. she is currently still marreid to soemone else which i guess is why they can't do the so called weddign here that it has to be done in naija.

i have even warned him that i would call ejire if she came back to the states after marrying him

of course my aunt n uncle have waged their own wars, his friends, siblings, but it all seems to be falling ondeaf ears.


so i guess u might see where my family cas say owo wan be( there r hands behind it) needless to say how may nit vigils, prayer partners here n nigeria that my aunt it rallying around. she even sends prayer request to the g.o of redemmed church


but i say, maybe my cousin is just acting out. i mean hes been the good boy allhis life n feels he is grown n wants to do whatever the heck,damn the consequences. u don't have to be charmed to do that. u can do that on ur own.

i even think that he may see evryones pt, but he has gone too deep n doesn't know how to get himself out of the whole situation without loosing her or without looking stupid n hearing i told u so.

i feel i shoulf reach out to him so atleast if thats the case he will have someone to confide in if he wants to. but i don't know how to do that for him cos obviously, i don't like his choices n the person he has become n i don't know how to act n petend everything is alright especially wiv her. i just kinda distnace my self from her. i really feel this is a big mistake for him but unfortunately he migh tnot know this tillits too late. the whle thing is just suspect, like her paretns r trying to force her on to whoever as soon as possible. i don't know if they r worried abt her life expentacny maybe thats why there is such abig rush.

so voodoo;wildoo or science. i think everything has an explanation.
sorry y'all but the spell check option has refusd to work n i am too tired n lazy to go thru tis my self. forgive the typos.

voodoo;wildoo;science

My husband is ever so inquisitive abt nigeria n our culture. Sometimes it gets extremely annoying trying to put a line btw myths and reality. He always comes up wiv these off the wall questions like the other day he was asking me abt all these god n goddesses like shango, obatala n stuff. I remember being in elementary school in soemthing being mentioned abt them in my yoruba class. but honestly do u think i cared at the time. i think not. he just simply shakes his head n says i am a fake nigerian cos i never have answers to his questions.

i grew up in the shelters of the city surrounded by high walls n fences n the closest i got to things like that was our dreaded ile ya trips to the village. please even the village i mean was like living in the city. shoo same ole high fences and walls. the most we got of the locals was whatever we saw looking out of the windows or balcony. i don't think i have ever seen a mud house u know like the ones in those real old movies of iyalode n stuff or those hausa movies in my entire life.

anyways, we always end up in these conversations arguing whether it was voodoo or science.

uptil now as we all know people still vermentally believe in all this voodoo stuff. my husbands argues that there is white voodoo but that will probably be part 2. i don't know if its that i am too westernized n i simply choose to try not to believe in all that stuff but yet, i am scared as hell whenevr i am travelling to nigeria. u know all those family memebers u don't know coming to visit from the vilaleg once they get whiff that someone is in town. i don't even go visit my grandmother in the village when i go home. we always have someone go bring her over to lagos. the lady is like in her 90's n refuses to come live with any of her kids in lagos. she'ld rather stay by herself in ijebu. of course she has a little house girl that stays wiv her. even though she is always sending them away cos she claims they r stealing somethign from her it could be meat from the pot or something crazy like that.

but there r somethings that r just harboring on the borderline like

my grandfather went home for ileya one yearn he killed a ram, shared it amongst his family members n forgot to give some old lady that he ahs usually given every year. well he never makes it back home from the trip. he died on his way home
their explanation: the lady was a witch, did something to him cos she was mad. apparently, she confessed rigth b4 she died.
mines: he died from dehydration cos he had diarrhea on the way home.


another:

my dads friend died a couple of years ago,
their explanation: he worked in the tax office, he used to get big cutbacks from the companies he was auditing so they wouldn't have to pay their fines. anyways, he ususally gives the boys in his offcie a cut form the pie as they do all the leg work anyways. there was this particular firm that was audited that payed up but the guy told his boys that the firm never payed so hw wouldn't have to share the bucks. the gys got to know he had collected n where mad, they swore to him he would notlive to spend a dime of the money. well he atually never did. he died a couple of months later n the oney was found right where he had kept it, in his closet.
their explanation: the guys did voodoo n had his secretary put it in his tea. he was in the hospital 4 a couple of mths n had the doctor stumped. a freind had tried taking him holy water that had been prayed on by some woli but the freind had an accident on the way n the bottle broke.
mines: the vodoo was poison. the liver clears the body of toxins. so naturally the poison did havoc to his liver n his liver failed n d fact that he had been an alcholoic did not help his liver at all. tot he woli incident, co-incident?


another one:
my dads brother had come to visit from the united states. a couple of days b4 he was suppposed to leave, hispasssport got missing, n we search high n low n couldn't find it.
a friend of the family took us to some babalawo. myself, her 2 daughters and my dad.
d old guy told us only those that where pure of heart n not afraid could help.
he filled a calabash with water n asked us kids to look into it. n the face we see in it was the person who took it. i looked real hard n saw nothing. one of the other girls said she saw nothing 2. but the third girl said she saw the face of our house girl. i guess either i was not pure of heart or too scared cos i sure as hell did not see anything.
anyways he told us to go home, we would find it. we question d girl but she still claimed till tomorrow that she didn't take it. she got fired n a couple of days later we find it.

so was she d culprit? i don't know. did she leave it b4 she left. who knows or was it there all along n we just hadn't seen it.


anyways there is a reason 4 this voodoo question. i'll let u'all decide in the part 2 to this

the wedding bells

did anyone watch the new show the weddign bells last week? i think it came on on friday nite. it was an absolute riot. i will definately be glued to my spot on the couch this week.

well, the episode kinda struck a cord with me. last weeks episode was centered on a couple getting married but everyone was against it, n her father refused to contribute anything finanically to the wedding, cos they all thot it was a fraud. everyone thot the groom was gay nmaybe in denial or the bride was being blindfolded. anyways even the officiating minister initially refused to marry them until he was blackmailed.

it so happend that the guy is very straight but he grew up in a gay household with his gay father n partner. so hence his flat out flaming character. i guess if it talks n walks like a hen doesn't necesarily mean its a hen. the guy wears a feather boa around his neck, has a high pithced voice, loud, talks gay, walks gay, most of his friends r gay or transvestites e.t.c

anyways i say it strikes a cord cos: ok i was having a conversation a couple of mths ago with my ever troubling causing brother in law. did i mention hs is gay? anyways i was telling him abt the fact that practically everyone that was on my wedding train 3yrs ago is getting marreid this year.
him: really everyone
me: yeah, of course except u
him: hmm, even the light skinned guy i think his name was dave
me: yeah, u met his fiance, she was on the train too
him: u for real, they r getting married
me: yeah
him: chuckles
me: what, why r u laughing?
him: nothing, nothing
me: nah, there has to bee a reason u r laughing
him: n u said she is ur friend
me: yeah, we've known each other since high school
him: hmm, i don't want o cos any trouble, i don't even know if u can tell ur friend, but dave is queer
me: what do u mean
him: he is definately gay bunmi
me: what, u r crazy, why would u say soemthing like that. they have been togehter for almost 6 yrs now
him: bunmi, u know i am gay right? so i know these things
me: u r really crazy
him: i spent soemtimw wiv him, i think he was trying to hit on me
me:????
him: during the wedding, he kept coming up n trying to talk to me
me: and so? maybe he was just trying to be friendly
him: bunmi, after the ceremony, he invited me to come change my clothes at his house, he lived nearby. why me out of all the guys there
me: like i said he knew u were from outta town n was being nice
him:anyways we went to his house
me: and?
him: chuckles, nothing, but his girl should be suspicious, cos she came home n was mad that i was there
me: ???
him: didn't unotice that they left the party early, she was still mad ( they did leave the wedding kinda early)
him: anyways, he is gay
me: did anything happen
him: i didnot say that, all i know is he is gay
me: now way u have it all wrong jose

n we left it at that. till date, i don't know if anything happened or maybe its just a figment og my brother in laws imagination but all i know is my self n the girls r in her wedding coming up in two mths. i did ask my girl friend why she left the party early, n she said she can't remember but she think she might have had a headache.

am i wrong for not bringing up these concerns? i don't really think its my place to meddle with soemthing so grave. but i keep wondering if it where me n if things actually turned out that the guy was gay n i didnot know n my friend did n she never said a word. i would be upset. i don't know. i have kept mute so far but i can't help but wonder sometimes n my girl is spending big time bucks on her wedding. she is paying a $100 per head for each guest at the wedding for the location n food. evrything else is extra.

me i don't know this one pass me small

same but different

i attended a friends weekend of wedding events n it was sooo much fun. i was husband free, children free for a whole weekend in the mist of my friends and it was just too good. hmmm too bad it couldn't last longer.

anyways, it was a melting of culture. my friends yoruban her husband is igbo. u would think in this day n age it would be just like anyother affair but its unbelievable how much prejudice is still out there even to some extent animosity btw the igbos n yorubas.

i remember when my dad thot i was dating this guy actually the groom n he practically called a family meeting promising me to diswon me if i continued datring him. n he was just my firend at the time. a cousin of mine's wife has been practically diswoned by her father cos she married a yoruba man. Isn't it this same nigeria that we r from. i can imagine someone saying oh i can't marry you cos i am from north carolina n u r a newyorker.

anyway the main parties i.e the bride n groom's family were pretty much at ease. it was the spectators that were something else. i call them the alarenas.

i know our cultures r very different. n the way things r done r different in respect to ceremonies but there were a couple of things that were a little bothersome to me though.

i can tell u right now, those traditional engagements bore the hell out of me. so i stayed with my friend (the bride) oh yeah i am friends with both the bride n groom. but anyways i stayed with her outside for the moset part waiting for her to be called on. all that waiting is aggravating. but what can u do. so for most part most i missed most of the ceremony. if u've seen one, u have seen them all as far as i am concerned. but trust that i didn't miss much as the alarenas did not fail in their duties to complain after it was done.

here r two yoruba ladies talking:
lady 1: me i can never marry igbo people oh! no wonder yorubas have so much prejudice against them. they r so proud n arrogant. imagine!
lady 2: yes oh! imagine their alagaduro (she is referrignto the spokes people for the grooms side) beign so full of himself. she they didn't know b4 that they were marryign a yoruba wife. ist off when the groom came in , the brides side told him he would be fined for wearing his hat into the ceremony. its a sign of disrespect. i don't know what the grooms alagaduro said to him but , he didn't pay fine nor remove the hat.
lady 1: did u see when they told the groom to dobale(prostrate) for the brides family n he refused n just stretched out his hands. the alagaduro said they were not inlaws yet so.........


n i am thinking to my self, they both have differnet cultures, maybe things r done differently in the igbo culture.

on the other hand i heard another couple sitting in the back complaining
abeg, how could chika let them do the ceremony like this. this is a typical yoruba engagement. where is our culture.


i said u can't please anybody. i have never been to a traditonal weddign aside the yoruba ones n muslims ceremony. can anyone enlighten me about how the igbo ceremonies r done.

"the common talk is that in the igbo culture, since the grooms family pays alot of dowry money,they pretty much run the show n call the shots". but as far as yorubas go, the engagement is the brides familys show.

mu cousin is also going thru similar predicament. the brides family expect him to be in charge of the wedding (financially) i guess cos thats their culture? even though they r d ones wiv the money n as far was we r concerned, the brides family is the one that hones in on the wedding. i think thats what it is supposed to be traditionally. i know during my wedding my family took care of most of the things. it just kinda worked that way.

anyways, i guess i want to be schooled. my ears r open

AWOL and back

My dearblogville family, i really went awol on u guys. my bad. thanks for all the concern, omara, remi, chioma, wafarian. didn't mean to get u'all worried.

I had an unexpected guest. a very old friend called out of the blues from naija n said she was coming visiting in 2days. shes a childhood friend n i hadn't seen her in a bit. on her ist nite over, we were up till 4 a.m talking n catching up. anyways u know how it is when people from naija come here. its shopping galore so for a whole week, i put on flats n headed out each day for a new shopping destination. it doesn't help that she fled from man trouble in naija( her boyfriend was being an ass n she just took off wivout telling him anything just to give him something to think about n time too). n we all know how good therapy shopping n sweets can be for troubled hearts. don't worry she did ost of d spending n eating. i was just an observer. oh btw did i mention that i lost almost 14 pounds. i guess hanging out at the gym wiv those crazy whte chicks paid off after all. omara we will talk later.

anyways, right after she left, i had to make a trip out of town for one of my "weddings". it was great. i have somethings to ask u'all abt. in my nxt post.

when i got back, i came back to chaios. n my husband deared to think that my presence here is not vital. i think not. came home to both my computers not working, the key to my car wouldn't turn in the ignition. the dish washer broken cos hubby was trying to do dishes. so i was without access to the internet for a bit there. n boy did i feel like i was in the dark ages. shoo, i was almost convinced i was living right out of a cave.

i have gotten everything sorted n back up n running so i should be good for a while until lazyness to type sets in.

just wanted to let u'all know i was back. i will put something up again later in the day.

he has lost it

i think my husband has lost his darn mind!!! i don't know who he thinks he married but he bests believe i ain't no fool. i wasn't born yesterday either.

i just hate it when people just lie so blatantly and even more when they r caught in a lie n they try n turn things around on you n make u think u r d one going crazy.

my hubby calls me up a little after 5pm, he egts my voice mail, leaves me a message saying: "oh baby, guess what i just got a raise at work. my manager has been really looking out for me. i think i will stay behind n help them finish up some things that we r working on just to show my appreciation. i will probably go to the gym afterwards b4 i come home."

i listen to the message, no qualms. i can understand his excitement. he actually just started this position last week. he got promoted n actually there were quite a few haters at his job who went telling his new boss stuff about him b4 he got the position but the boss didn't budge. he got hired anyways. now just a week into d position, he is getting another raise. i would be excited too. i didn't think anything about it. infact i was like good, give me more time to get some more things done b4 he gets home.

ok so now its about 10.15, i remember that i left my watch at the gym. i had been in there earlier. so i pack up the girls, jump in the car n head to the gym to go see if someone had found my watch. i debated for a long time at home b4 going. i was tired n didnot feel like steeping out again. besides i had changed into my nightie but the fact that hubby just bought the watch for me yesterday, i always loose things n didn't feel like hearing hubbys mouth, and also the longer it gets,the likely hood of someone picking it up n taking it was greater. i remembered exactly where i left it. in the slot for bottles on the treadmill machine in the front near the window. i am like good anyways the girls will get a chance to see their dad b4 they go to bed.


i get to the gym, go in check for my watch where i left it, it wasn't there so i went to their lost n found n thank God a good samaritan had picked it up n turned it in. so i got my watch thanked everyone n went in search for my husband. he was no where to be found. i went outside to see if his car was there but it wasn't. i figured he had probably left n was on his way home or home already. i called the house as i leave the gym, no answer. i am like ok ?


so i get home, he is still not there, i call his cell, no answer. i am begigning to worry. by now he should have left work surely. there really isn't much they can do at his job after hours. should i call the cops n see if he got in an accident? anyways i didn't have to cos he called about a number of minutes later..

me: honey r u ok
him: yeah, i just picked up my phone from the locker n saw u i missed ur calls
me: u r still at the gym?
him: yeah
me: that must have been some long work out.
him: oh, it wasn't that long. i hung out abit at work wiv my excoworkers from the other department b4 i came here
me: oh, so what time did u fianlly get to the gym?
him: abt 10

mind u i got to the gym probably aroung 10:30 n i left around 10:42 n called the house at that time. i know cos i checked my phone. n its now 11:15

me: oh ok.
him: anyways i am goingto leave now, i have to go back to work, i left my.........
me ( i cut him off): whatever i will see u when u get home

i hung up.

i call him back right away. no answer. i called again he finally picks up

me: honey, can u go back to the office i left something there earlier in the day
him: i left already, i am buying gas now
me: ok just turn back u can't have gone too far
him: actually i am on my way back to my job
me: but u just left like 1 min ago, u can't have gone far. besided the gas station in in front of the gym
him: well i told u i am already on my way to my job. when i leave there i will go back to the gym
me: that makes absolutley no sense.
him: are u trying to ask me something here. why don't u just say whats on ur mind. u don't beleive i was at the gym
me: well how can i when u weren't there. i just left the gym cos i forgot my watch n u sure were not there. i looked for u cos i brought the girls
him: i don't like where this converstion is going. i have been at work working alday n u r accusing me of what

mind u he doesn't sound convincing. i know him. if he ever gets accused of something he didn't do, he gets really upset n mad. he was not upset. just stumped. cos he was caught in a lie

me: u know if u wanted to hang out wiv ur coworkers or something i would never tell u not to go but for u to lie, obviously, there is something u shouldn't be doign that u r trying to hide
him: we will talk about this when i get home
me: wherever it is that u have been they can't keep u. i mean why bother even coming home. its almost midnite. u have to be at wotk inthe morning. they can surely keep u longer since they obviosuly come ist b4 ur family. n click i hung up

i am begining to wonder why the need of marriage. why do we have to get married. i hate bullshit. i really do. i would rahter not deal. but whats the alternative? leave, raise my children by myself. i am getting real tired. its always on thing or the other. at least i know one thing for sure. i won't be missing his companionship. as is he is hardly here. always working n when he is supposed to be home getting some rest he is too busy running the streets.not hanging with friends. really he doesn't have any. i am not kidding. besides co workers. atleast thats what i know. so not hanging wiv people, just running the streets. i swear, if he is really where he says he is, then he sure is a hell of a shopahollic more than i am.

i hate that he has put doubt in my mind. he may not have been creeping. trust me i am not naive. it is extremely possibile. he may have just been simply hanging out. why not just be straight up. the worst i will do is sulk that u r not coming home to spend the time wiv me n thats is the worst.

the institution of marriage is just soo much work

rude awakening

i woke up today n resolved to be more aware of things going on around me.
i decided to start including in my blog at least one topic of important news, politics or jusy simply things going on in the world.

then i opened my email. here is a link that someone had sent to me. it is unbelievable. but we shouldn't be surprised, we were warned that this was coming. but to actually think that people would fall for this is just unbelievable to me.

at least it bings into perspective whats more important to me. and that is my relationship with God.

here is the link

http://www.cnn.com/video/partners/clickability/index.html?url=/video/us/2007/02/15/zarrella.man.jesus.cnn

skinny

here's another of my paranoia. i think my girls are too skinny. their last check up they were at about 50percentaile of their weight. that is 50% of kids their age way more than they do. while they are i think about 90 something percentile of their height. i ahev always know they r pretty tall for their age. peopel always pass them for 4 yr olds when they were 2. anyways they are going to be three nxt mth. i ususally haev a hard tiem shopping for them cos they 4 skinny but tall. the size 2 clothing are big in the waist but short in lenght. size 3s n fours are way big in the waist n lenght is ok. so unless the skirt or pants come with adjustable waists or pull strings, they r no good. of course u won't beleive how hard it is to find tow of the same sizes let alone three. i don't know why most times i find things i like i can only find one pair. u know what i should probably start a clothing line for multiples. hmm.

oh yes oh! i am one of those that ensures her kids wear d same outfit. whats the point of being a mulitple if u can't go all out n be cute like that. infact i think some people trying to do the different thing or just couldn't get the same outfits all in the same color got me maybe two in same color, one different or all same outfit different colors, i regifted them oh! yes i am that petty.


(the whole weight) thing doesn't help that my girls flat out refuse to eat their vegetables. sometimes its hard enough getting them to eat but veges. forget it. even if i make rice with mixed vegetables, they will sit there n pick out every little peice of vege in it b4 eating the rice or simply just refuse to eat it. any ides on how to get kids to eat their veges. as an adult i know i have struggled with eating balanced meals but i have been trying to make sure the girls get all their needed nutirents but i always end up throwing away my well cooked veges in the trash after each meal.


oh yeah another thing they still suck their fingers!!! i just don't know how to get them off it. well while we r on the how do i's, how do i get them totally potty trained. i mean they r potty trained up to an extent. during the day they go to the bathroom them selves. my problem is atnite n when they take naps in the afternoon. i think by three they should have been totally trained right?

any ideas r totally welcomed.

Dear diary

i have come out of solitude yet again. i haven't blogged continuously in a bit. i won't bother giving excuses cos they would be just that excuses!

i feel a dear diary kinda entry coming on. just till i get back in the swing of writing again. u know the good ole writers block. even though i dare not consider my self a writer. i ran across a blog the other day i think www.olawunmi.blogspot.com i just love his command of words. at ist i thot it was a woman thanks to the name, shoo i was glad at finding another talented sister but i am not disappointed non the less. the writer is a he.

anyways back to my dear diary entry.

Got a very slow start to the day. i could not get out of bed till 11.a.m today. eventhough i haer woken up earlier to make hubby is breakfast b4 he went to work n just flopped right back in bed as soon as i set his plate down on the table. i have blamed it so far on the last 2 classes i took at the gym. the killer barbell strength and step classes. u know one should really know ones place when it comes to things like that. the barbell strength training class was an accident. i went intothe class thinking i was going into a step class. i chose a nice spot in back so i can slack off when i get tired without feeling too guilty. i saw everyone picking out equipments, barbells, extraweights, mats e.t.c tyhat should have been the lightbulb moment but i was sure i had checked the schedule right, it said step at 5.45 so i was sure they would whoop out the steps shortly, well i folloewd the masses picked up some eqipment toon waied for the teacher as we were a little early. i looked a round the class. hmm the only blck chick. well not too surprised, the neighbourhood th gym was in was kinda an exclusive one anyways so go figure. but not only was i d only blck chick but everyone else seemed to be the type a personality, size 0 wearing chick. hmm, what r tehy doing in here anyways. anywaus i got chatting wiv soem of the ladies nxt to me n the instrucotr came in. i sear she looked no more than 16 and yet another size 0. whatever u'all, making me look so obese. anyways she introduced herself n said the name of the class i was like bar bell gini? but i was not ging to be outdone by all those size 0s. n besides God forbird the lazy black stereotyoe so i was sticking to my guns.

lets say about 10 mins into the class, i was looking at the cloack, when is this turture going to end. i looked around n everyone was just chilling like they went even lifting anything. n the instructor had the nerves to tell us to do push ups. i jusy lay oe th florr till they were done. i am not about to kill my self o jare. well i endured it till the end unbelievably so. but nxt time i see euipments i will be running the other way. so the nextday, yesterday comes, i am here again n thank God i finally found the right class. steps, how ahrd can it be. if anyone can usrvie the 1004 steps living on the 11th floor. i should be good. except, i didn't factor in a psycho trainer. that lasy had has doing crazy combinations like no other, its hard enough trying to keep up especially since i did asheju n had three levels up when my outof shape beginner self should ahd just stcuk tothe basic steps , i went n raised mines up three levels. need i say that my heart felt like it was going to pop right out my chest n my calves, oh my calves, hmm only i understamd the kind og limping n walking style that i have been reduced to. anyways she had d nerve to pit togehter combinations that make u actually think. i am sorry my brain is too busy thinking what d hell r u doing? r u trying to commit suicide? what tiem is it? i am never coming back? shoot which is my left foot again? i am too tired to even rationale that. then u got me doing mumbo sashe, 2step, round the world, travel knees, 2 step, lstep then jumping jacks enter on right knee blah blah blah. i couldn't take it. stood n wathch the other hefers do the thing like it was easy.

so ok my whole body is beat up. but i am going for the kick boxing class today. hope i won't be dead by the end of the wk. oh i do have latin fusion to look forward too how hard can that be shebi its salsa now.

anyways back to my day today. i finally drag my self out of bed around 11 when my phone rang and it was this higly undicernable male voice asking me 4 directions to my place. oh, i only was able to figure that out after like about 15 mins of hun , i can;t understand u. ok i hate to say this but i cannot stand nor understand why these peeps form spanish speaking countries refuse to learn english.!!!!

i mean some of them have been in this country for yrs. imagine, 10,15, 20 yrs living here in the states n still no english haba. some of them don't even try. why should they afterall spanish is almost a secong languauge here. try use calling cards its no more press 1 4 english but presso numero uno for espaniol then u can press 2 4 english. call any company up that has automated recordings, same thing. there is spanish translation of every literature, instructions. i mean why should they bother.

other nationales come here n even ifnot master d language at least they try. but not these people. what happened to the good ole if u live in rome act like a roman. i mean spanish is almost becoming a compulsory 2nd language. some job requirement actually state 4 bilingual in spanish a must.

how in d world are they able 2 get awya wiv this. they really need to go try that wiv the brits.

anyways back to my story so i end up spending another good ole 20 mins trying to spell the world little. i actually only got tthrough li. the t was a no go. he kept on saying c. i said nooo. t like tom, truck, u r a truck driver aren't u. ( he was coming to tow my brothers car) . good 30mins n i still couldn't get done spelling the name of my street. i agev up n just told him to call my brother let him deal wiv this mess.

he finally got to the beginnign of my street n said he couldn't come in cos he had a huge truck n a car on it n my streeet had too many trees. he wanted me to drive the car to meet him. i am like dude, i told u like 3 times already. the car doesn't drive. thats why its being towed duh.! anyways long story short i end up using my car to bump this car doen the strrt, inot a busy street allthe way to where he parked the truck at a mcdonalds. imagine if we had been stopped by the cops. the ar didn't even have tags. only a black person n a spanish sperson car do that in broad daylight wiv no fear.

well thats it for todays dear diary entry. gotta go do my wifly duties. didn't get a chance to proof read. forgive any typos

2 min recession

i supposedly took a leave of absecnce from blogville. i know but i had to come n share this with my adopted family at blogville. i am in soo much awe of what happened. may be i am just being naive or as i have been told oversensitive. i will let u'all formulate ur own opinions.


right now, my eyes r blodd shot red fron crying, i am sniffling, n just trying to get my thots straight.

here is a dialogue that ensued probably 1 hr ago

hubby: so dear why again did u ask my brother to ocme get some food? did he ask u for some or what?
me: no he did not ask me for some. like i told u yesterday when i called u to ask 4 his number, i just felt like being nice to him. afterall he is my brother in law. i made alot of efo so i felt he could use some if he wanted.
hubby: but why though? he has been here in atl 4 about a yr n u have never offered him a plate of food b4. why d change of heart.
me: we he lived with us for half the time so why would i offer him food. anything cooked was up for grabs 4 anyone that lives here. i mean was i expected to ask him everytime if he wanted some food. besides he ate whatever he wanted whenevr he felt like. he needed no invitation
hubby: well i still want to know why the change of heart. he has been living on his own since november n u have never once cared abt him so why now
me: see me see trouble oh! i was feeling kind n i offered ur brother food. is that a crime. abeg next tiem i wont offer him anything if am going to have to go through interrogation like this.
hubby: (after about 20mins , he is climbing up in bed) well he isn't coming to get any food.
me;: oh?
hubby: i talked to him this morning, he isn't coming
me: he could have called me. what r u guys trying to insinuate anyways? i can't offer things out of the kindness of my heart.
hubby: its just real suspect thats all.
me: what??? r u trying to say i am trying to poison his food or what?
hubby: u said it not me but hey u can never say
me: oh my gosh! how can u even think that of me? didn't u eat out of the same food?r u saying i can poison u too?
hubby: all i know is that its just weird
me: oh my God! u have turned me into some kind of wicked witch. what would i do somethign like that 4. he doesn't bother me n i don't bother him
me: u know what to hellwith ur folks. i can never do enough or good 4 them
hubby: what abt urs. i see thru their facade. they don't like me either
me: at least they don't go abt talking abt u behind ur back. they always say good things abt u all d time
hubby; thats what u say. but anyways don't worry gosh darn it u 're going to get ur citizenship1 they don't have to worry abt that
me: what d hell. r u stryingto say i married u or they let me marry u cos of papers?
hubby: silence
me: if thats d case, lets call immigration mow n tellthem that theres no need. we r not going trhu wiv this anymore.
me: i called immigration n said here i have done d leg work 4 u. tell them what u want. he refused to take the phone
me: look i don't need u 4 anything. b4 u came along i was doing exremely wellby my self for my self.
hubby: silence

i storm out call my mother n start packing my shit. u d hell does he think he is?


rewind a bit.

if u've read my prior post, u'd have learned of the only kinda fallling out i had with his brother. it was just once but its been like three times n the spiritual realm. the day we had that falling out, i had dreamt thatmy self n hubbys brother had an argument. as i am walking back upstairs, i look back n see him trying to stab me in the back with a knife. he stops n i send him packing. as soon as he opens the door to leave, hubby comes back form home n sees him wiv his stuff, didn't even listen to what i had to say n starts blaming me. as soon as i woke from this dream, my husband walks thru d door, just coming back form work. d ist thing he asked me was how r u? how was my brother., everything ok. i was stumped. anyways i tellhim to sit down while i procedd to tellhim a short version of the dream i had just woken up from.

so my husnabd decides to prevent any issues to call his brother n just lay down the rules of staying wiv us. read my prior blog i believe titled "have u been called a nigga b4".

thats just dream one. dream too actually happened the night b4 my brother-in-law decided to leave the house. i didn't tell anyone abt my dream till after wards. i told hubby. hubby n his brother had a falling out n his brother decided that he couldn't abide by his rules so he was better off getting his own place. i had absolutley nothing to do with it. i think they fellout cos his brother oj was driving one of his cars n never checked the oil. when he has a flat, he calls hubby to come change it for him. he is like 24 yrs old i belive. anyways when my hubby brought this up the biy siad well my mom took care of all that stuff for me when i was home!!??
anyways like i said, he just decided he couldn't live by his brothers expectations n decided to bounce.

meanwhile i had dreamt d night b4 that me n him had a falling out again n that cosed me n hubby to get seperated.

ok third dream was after he was gone n same thing, me n him having a falling out.


i was watchign joel last night. listening to him preach. n i made a decision to be icer to d boy despite all n just let go of whatevr i had against him. i guess i was stil abit upset that he had insulted me by callign me third world. but anyways i call hubby, ask him for his brothers number n tell him i am going to call him n as him to come pick up a plate of food. i m thinking inmy head, efo is his favorite anywyas, he will probably be in heaven if i call him. he loves food.

i call him, khe sounds estatic n says spinach stew, yum, i will be there to pick it up tomorrow

funny thing is i kinda debated asking him 4 like 4hrs. hubby left 4 work around 6 n i didn't call him till 10 to ask him. another thing i can't shake off is that its like there was fire in front of me n i willingly put my fingers in it!

apparently he must haev called hubby n told him ur wife offered me food n i am not going to take it. i just can't believe that they would think abt soemthign like that. especially hubby.!!

well i told him he must be the bigger fool if he married soemone he doesn't know. how can he possibly think i am capable to something like that.

i told him if thats the case then i would advise him not to eat d meals i make becos how does he know they r not poisoned.

well,i cried my eyes out. packed some of my things with the girls in a heap in suitecases that r just lying there upstairs. we r not talking. my mom's not purchasing tickects for me to come home. i have a job interview in another hr n a half. i am exhausted. my phone is ringing off the hook cos i am helping 2 girl friends plan their wedding. one nxt mth the other in june n i am trying to be as cheerful as ever. my girls r wondering why momy is crying. i have been told by my uncle who is like my confidant. mes my moms brother that i am over reacting. he said. hen to ba je pe ori pelu obirin imi nko. kilo ma wa se.?


i need take a deep breath.

omara where r u?abeg when r u coming back from portugal
bluntremi: thanks 4 d concern i need time to get some things in order. but now u can't get a glimpse.

A.W.O.L

MY FAMILY AT BLOGVILLE , UNREGRETABLY, I AM GOING TO HAVE TO GO AWOL FOR JUST A LITTLE BIT. AS I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP UP CONSISTENTLY. IT WOULD ONLY BE FOR A WHILE N I WILL BE BACK.

nana vs grandma

i have a few diclaimers i must make. i don't really dislike my mother in law. i hope no one got that notion from my previous posts. she is real cool peeps or should i say i loved her pretty much until it came to light that she may have or may not have said some very unpleasant things abt me. i don't even know if i should go there. well u'all should know the jist from a couple of blogs ago.

but really she is nice, christian american and a nana. yes nana, not grandma. i'll make the distinction shortly. now i will take her any day any time rather than any of those meddling loud, arrogant , controlling nigerian mils out there. i have heard horror stories so i will be the ist one to say mines ain't half as bad but here is something i have come to learn though,

nana vs grandma nana: looks and feels like a grandma, except:
1) the grand kids can come visit but be sure to pack ur children with u when u live. no drop offs, no i gotta run to the store real quick.

2)when the baby's diaper is wet or soiled comes to wake u up to come change the diaper cos nanas don't do diaper duty. hey 4get midnite duties too. lady flat out disclaimed nursing babies in the middle of the night. she had her younger sisters for that

3) gets mistaken for the baby's momma.

4)drives a sport car instead of a family car

5)hangs out more than your teenage brother.

6) too busy travelling the world n enjoying retirement.

hmm i really shouldn't hate. wouldn't any one like to have the perks of a nana? i'ld like to say oh i will be so grandmotherly but if given the option, shoo if i worked hard, i should be ablt to play hard when retirement comes abi? just might take the nana route. pretty tempting but u never know. what about u?

full of crap

the ups guy just dropped off three more boxes. yep its from her again. if i receive any more boxes from ups, i am going to scream. ever since my mother-in-law sold her house, my house has become a dumping ground. unbeleiveable

ist there was the trailer load of crap she paid almost 1g to have driven down to us here in atl. she lives all the way in chicago. The lady called n told hubby that she was sending down somethings to us since she sold her house n would not be needing them anymore. acting like she was doing us a favour. i was like ok. maybe i there might be thing that i can use to finish decorating the 4th bedroom in there. the truck came, i laugh as i write. i went upto it, pulled open the door, took one peep in side, hissed, slammed the door n went back in the house. i just went in n told hubby that the truck was here n left it at that. He was like why didn't u just grab somethings n bring it in so we can start off loading it. I just told him oh u need to do this urself. he just shook his head.


anyways the truck stood out there for at least 3 more days before hubby finally had the chance to go get the stuff out since he's usually tired after work. i had to see the look on his face when he opened the truck so i went out there with him. he opened, looked in, then climbed in rumaged thru some things, came out n asked when's the next trash day, i just laughed.

so it appears that either all the junk that his mom had n couldn't get trashed she went ahead n paid 4 it to get sent down to us or she actually thot that we could use things like an a track player complete with the discs. u'all remember those records that our parents use to play back in the days. the lady hadn't even graduated to tapes yet let alone cds. old broken down chairs n tables. broken picture frames, a bike that she used to ride when my husband was a kid. common now haba! i am kinda a hoarder too but trust me only important stuff n my collection only lasts a couple of yrs b4 i get tired of the mess n just trash whatever has pilled up in the attic.

i guess hubby didn't tell his mom that he couldn't use any of that stuff cos when she came visiting a couple of weeks later, she was asking if we put up some of the furniture yet. i just said "oh hubby is taking care of that". and u know men sometimes they can be too real n blunt for their own good. she asked him n he flat out said " mom, i sent all that stuff to salvation army."
she did not even say anything. i bet u she thinks i asked him to.

ok i am square

it is now official, i am a square, not a circle, triangle, heart, a prism, a cube simply SQUARE!!!!

at least cirlce has pie, although it ends right were it starts.
triangles got isoseles, pythagoras,
cube: mutlidimensional, 3d
prism: ask the physicists and the optometrist or optalmologist. more than significant


Square : plane figure, dull, rigidly conventional, no dimension, unimaginative and a conformist.

whats bothering me, i will tell you. even though i have not felt the significance till i got married cos when i was single, was plain too busy; school, work(jobs), boyfriend drama, family(more drama). or was i just simply content with being the the pretty face with brains to match.( i mean book smart). don't know. but anyhoo, i have come to the realization that i am plain boring!!!!

apart from my occupation which at the moment is a homemaker, my educational education which i am actually not quite passionate about anymore
my loves: three beautifull girls, my husband, my immediate family, 1 or 2 ok make it 3 friends.
that is it.

got no real hobbies( just started blogging), no verment i gotta have passions, not into sports, can't play any( i can stay on the side lines n cheer real good) don't play any instruments, not good with my hands, not quite imaginative,not creative, can't sing, not a writer really, don't have a political party ( so shameful to say), not a member of any organised group or association i don't think mop (mothers of multiples) didn't send in the app yet anyways. what in the world is wrong with me???

i envy( not in a bad way) some people. i will give examples:

hubby; loves his firearms. yeah i mean guns. loves to go to the shooting range
loves fishing
loves to read. buys at least one book a week. hangs out at barns n nobbles( a book store)
really deep down wants to write. but u know, man must put bread on the table so maybe in retirement
has a collection of weird rock music. u know them, wht people stuff like led zapplin, foo fightters, hall n oates, my chemical romance alot of 80s stuff.


a walk in my stilettos: passionate about travelling thw world. no matter how broke, manages to squeeze in at least 2-3 exotic places a yr
passionate about art: draws, paints, has a fuil time job n runs two companys of her own. check out some of her work at http://www.blue-socks.com


cranberry: wild for fashion and creativity


name sake: running marathons for causes.
food!! n cooking as well

cousin: wild about languages. girl can speak 6 fluently, i don't mean english, yoruba, ibo
difficult ones like japanese, german, portugese, russian, french, italian.
want to work for WHO or any international organisation or as a diplomat and is not taking no for an answer. needless to say she doesn't have a job yet cos she is still trying to break down those barriers so if u know anyone that works for the likes of unicef, who abeg help her. she las loafed of her papas money for too long now.

ok i can go on and on. my point is i searched my self thoroughly. i don't know y'all, but i can't find it or should i say i can't find my self. i have no interests whatsoever. i means things that i am just soo passionate about. things that if i did not have to do anythings else like work, take care of family e.t.c that i would want to do. take care of my kids, husband, home n thats it. i used to read, but that was back in the days oh jare. the days of nancy drew, mills n boons and them.

so please how do i find myself. my essence, or "get in touch with my self and inner being", how do i travel to that special place?

especially now that i am married, it really dawns on me. it is soo important to have something of your own. u know, ur own solace. u can't rely on ur husband or kids being there all the time. they can't spend 24/7 with u, when they r gone, what do u do? what do u long to do? when everyone else is out pursing their passions n dreams where r u?

i was tagged earlier today. what r the 10 things u do when no one is there:

1) read blogs
2) see who viewed my hi5 page( even though hi5 is sooo done now. i think face book is the it now)
3) dance to awilo
4) do the dutty wine ( even though i suck!)
5) surf the net, read more blogs, view hi5
6) view wedding websites ( yeah i am a wedding website crasher)
7)pop my zits infront of the mirror (very bad habit)
8) dance sexy to reggae in front of the mirror
9)daydream about what life would be like if i had made different choices ( have no real regrets though)
10) talk to my self. ( i am alone most of the time n don't worry i am not loosing it)

so if u have read my blog today, u have been tagged. answer these questions n further more what r u? r u a square.?

third world

have u ever been called nigga b4?

i have but tobe quite honest, it did not bother me as much. my great grandparents/ grandparents weren't slaves or brougth over to the united states on a ship. quite to the contrary. my grandfather payed for a plane tickect that brought him here. even though it still stricks a cord becos of course in the context in which it was used in was meant to be degradign or demeaning. it came from one highly ignorant old wht man who felt he was insulting me. shoo it rolled of my shoulders like water. i ahve every right to be here as much as u do. abi u forget that we r both not of this land. ur whit ancesotors were thieves that stole the lands of the poor indians and drove them into camps on their own land. but i choos enot to get into this right now cos boy wil it be a long one.

funny enough the times that i have actually been offended by ignorant remarks were from my own brothers and sisters inthe sense that we all probably share ancestors. regretably so i mean african americans. bloody africans, stink holes, jungle animals. even the dump questions so do u'all live in trees, or wow how is it leaving in jungles with all those with animals or do u reallyhunt for ur food. yeah dumb ass, i chill with lions in the backyard of my fathers mansion in lagos.

anyways the remark that has pissed me off the most actually came from a family member yes oh!

now lets ff to the day my brother inlaw sat on my kithcen stool at my island n told me that i was soo 3rd world. did i get ru attention yet? n he goes on to say somethign like oh my mom has already warned me abt this , i am not going to say anythigns else. ok am lie hold up what did u say ur mother said. and of course now that he ahs realized that he has just stirred up some shit,he goes to say oh no she didn't say anything i was just rambling. i wasn't upset nope i was just simply outraged. needless to say i blew up n hubby didn't even now what to say or do. he just quielty walked upstairs called his mom n told her she ahd better start finding another accomodation for her son.

i won't leave u'all out. soemthing must have happened to prompt him to say that. well as my memory serves me, hubby wa trying to have a converstion with his brother abt somethings that were just fundamental when u r leaving with someone. i had requested that hubby just lay down the rules which were simple
1)keep ur rm clean or atleast tidy. i don't go in there anyways but don't have it that we can't even walk past the door without coverign our noses cos of stench
2) abeg, i don't have any maid n i definately did not sign up as one so please wash ur dishes after u use them. don'tleave them in the sink for days n tell me oh, i planned on getting that later
when u see me doing them. i clean up after 3girls all day trust me i am not lookingto add anothe r child to the list
3) take out the trash in ur bathroom when it starts over flowing.

this is all that hubby had said just to ensure there is no conflict.he knows how much smack he has to endure when he doesn't simply put the toilet seat down but thats another story. anyways so his brother proceeds to say "oh if i have to take out the trash then she (meaning me) should stop putting diapers in them. thats so third world. i mean only third world people put diapers in the trash.

now mind u, he is using my girls buddy bathroom. both his rm n theirs share the bathroom. when they wake up inthe morning, the first thing they do is take of their wet diapers n put them in the trash can in their bathroom. i stopped letting the girls use the tub or if i can help it the toilet in there. its always filthy. i just let them use mines

so what if i can't afford diaper genie or they they weren't any, the where will the diapers go? i guess since we are on the third world subject, wil wrap it up in a bag n hurl it over the fence, not worrying about on whom or where it lands.

so i just sya to him. forget it, i'll make sure that i buy the girls another trash can n i will empty theirs if u r going to be that petty.

ever since then, i have kinda distanced my self from him n his mom cos i can not help but wonder what it is they say behind me. sorry but i have a big thing against people who smile at ya but say something else behind ur back. even thought he mom got to learn about the situation n called assuring me that she loved us all n would never say anything bad about me especially behind my back. but unfortunatley, the die has been cast, the seed has be sown, i can't help but be weary.

some people may think whats the big deal but abeg to me it the statement was quite up there with a white man calling a black man nigga or boy. but each man to his own. all i can say is i hardly talk to the boy anymore. thank God he finally moved out on his own.( i told my hubby not to ask him to leave after the incident. haba don't turn me into the wife that sends all her inlaws packing)


third world indeed.

nanny troubles contd

he asked as he always does if the girls had eaten n she of course first rolled her eyes as n replied yes. my husband went about his business n made himself a plate to eat for dinner. as he settled down to eat, the girls came up to him wanting to eat wth him. this is not unusuall n he proceded to feed them. but what amazed him was the tenacity with which they ate. i mean they were all over the food like they hadn't eated in days. so my husband turned round n asked mama again " are u sure this children have eaten".

It was at this point that i walked in thru the door from work to a house of chaos. my husband is yelling, she is screaming, crying, shouting n kids just looking on in amazement. mama is upset because she says hubby has accused her of neglecting the girls n not feeding them. hubby turns to me n says honey all i did was ask her if the girls had eaten.

well the ist thing that got me was, my hubby is very quiet. it takes a lot to push his buttons n 4 him to get soo upset as to raise hi voice at her, he must have been real thicked. anyways, i am trying to be calm cos mama is just wilding out, saying she wants to call her son, she is being mistreated bla bla bla so i tell her to go ahead n call her son. i told her she could use the cordless phone cos the mounted phone was not working properly. i turn around am talking to hubby n say about 5 mins, my cell phone rings, its my girlfirend who lives in the same subdivision as i did. she's like bunmi, she everythings ok. am like yeah why? shes like well, why is ur nanny in the streets flagging down cars? i saw her as i turned into the subdivision. am like what?

i had just spoken to her like 5 mins ago. she was right here wiv us. anyways, she had just walked out the house wiv out telling us. ist off, we had just moved into this neighbourhood probably, about 3days so she sure as heck didnot know where she was going. the lady bareley spoke english. what if something happened to her or she got in a strangers car. what am i to tell her son.?

immediately, hubby wnet out to go look 4 her. he came back a couple of mins later n said he had driven round the neighbourhood n out of the subdivission n couldn't find her. at this pt, i am like i have had it. this is not working at all. am like what am i gaining from the lady? nothing but drama n confusion. then i recall all the drama from 2wks ago when i had taken one of the girls to the emergency rm in the middle of the nite. my self n hubby took her n left the other 2 with mama. which was a huge huge mistake. i learnt the hard way that once one of them is ill, u better get all of them checked out or treated. n we all know how things go at the emergency rm. hrs of waiting, when we were finally seen, the doc told us he had to transfer us to another hospital that is specifically a childrens hospital, we then had to wait for an ambulance. mind u if i had jusy driven tothe nxt hospital, i probably would have gotten there sooner. of course d hospital wouldn't let us leave, we had to wait 4 the darn ambulance. anyways all this is like 8-10 hrs. i am begining to get worried about the other girls. i am calling mama on the hosue phone sh e aint picking it up. she usually doesn't pick it up cos she can't tell us who called anyways. but one would think that she would have picked it up cos she was having a crisis at home. the other two girls had gotten sick while we were gone. she was going crazy herself cos she didn't know what to do n she didnot know how to use the phone. we have tried so many times to teach her but she just refuses to use it. i am begining to panic even though i am unaware of whats going on at home, but i guess, a mothers hunch,i could just sense there was something wrong. anyways, i am trying to get some one to go over there n check things out n make sure every thing was ok. i am finally able to reach my brother who goes over there. but mama wasn't answering the door. she claims she was upsatirs intheback rm n didn't hear the door bell or knocks. anyways once we get to the other hospital, hubby dashes back home to go check on them, n he gets there n finds the other girls where sick too n he had to bring them to the hospital.

all the drama could have been avoided if only she knew how to use the phone. she could have called us or even been able to pick up the phone when i had tried calling. besides thats just too dangereous. had it been a life threatening illness, the story could have been different

anyways i am weighing all that we have been thru n am like this is just too much. i call her son, i tell him look ur mom just walked out the house wiv out telling us n we don't know where she is. i tell him hubby has gone searching 4 her n can't seem to find her. i am about to call the cops. anyways he says not to. he'll be down here in a minute. then he calls me back on his way asking me why we were questioning her like that in the ist place. that it was our fault we upset her n why did we let her leave the house. at this pt i had had it with both her n her son. anyways as he pulls up tothe house an unknown car pulls up to the front of the house too. some guy had kindly picked her up from the streets, he could barely understand what she was saying but he knew he had seen her b4 with the girls at the park n knew he had also seen the girls infront of our house so guessed we lived there.

i thanked him profusely, then turned back around, went upstairs picked up her belongings n handed it over to her son n told them no hard feelings but it was time she left. can u beleive the son was still trying to beg n see what he could do. he really didn't want to have to take her home with him. his wife i guess threatened to leave if she ever came back. n mama has simply refused to go back to their country. anyways i closed my door n bid them a goodnite.

i could go on and on about my dealings with mama but i think i'll leave thigns at that. i am just glad the nigthmare eventually ended.


ok, even though we were burned n where still nursing our wounds from the whole mama saga, we accepted a replacement from the agency. hey i still had to go to work.

rebecca, was very nice. indian lady. very gentle soul. she was sooo sooo careful with the girls. i mean when she watched them , she really watched them i mean with all her senses she literally watched their every move. it was good but then we had to relocate n she didn't want to leave her family behind so we had to let her go. i was soo sad to loose her.

ok once we relocated, the agency sent someone else. zainab. she was a younger girl. we had specified we wanted someone younger cos the girls were getting quite active n could be a hand full. they needed someone with tons of energy. despite unsolicited warnings from friends and family. "u know u guys r a new couple, don't go bring temptation into ur house n so on"


ofcourse as usual the honeymoon phase was sweet. at ist i laid down the rules. told her straight up. u r here to work so pls behave appropriately. i took her to the store bought her a new wardrobe cos the scanty clothing that she brought wiv her that looked like stuff my younger cousins wear to the club would not do. anyways besides that things were good. i pretty much treated her like my younger sister. when i went shopping 4 me, i always bought things 4 her, when people came around, i told them she was my sister. when i got my hair done, she got hers done too. she seemed to love the girls n the girls fellin love with her too. shoo, i started getting jealous sometimes, they would rather be with her than me sometimes. but it was all good. i was just glad that they were being well taken care of. well trouble started in paradise when girlie asked me to get her a cell phone. something kinda gwaned at me but i went ahead n did it anyways. whatever she wanted as long as she took good care of my babies. well after the cell phone came, things just started going down the drain. she would be on it 24/7. talking to all sorts of guys. she started slacking in her duties. u know how it is when u r young n men start toasting u n ur head begins to swell n u think u'r it. no one can tell u anything. she started catching attitudes. e.g, when i go out n get back, walk thur door, she wouldn't even look to see who came in thru d door, she'd be on her phone yapping away. it could have been a robber for all she cared. she wouldn't even say hello. when i confronted her she siad "well in my village, when peole go out n come back, they r the ones that greet the people that they meet at home". mind u this never used to happen. the thing is though this youngen that now has wings just came to the country oh!, she could not be more than 17 n she is already being lead astray by men. she evetually told us that one of her "uncles" wanted to help her file some papers n she would have to go to newyork. this girl had only one relative in the states n it was an aunt that lived in maryland. anyways, i called her aunt u had no idea what i was talking about. needless to say , she left n never went back to her aunt who she was staying with origianlly. till date, the aunt doesn't know where she is. i hope she is ok sha wherever she was lead to.

by this time hubby n i were done with disapppointments. we didn't want people just coming n going out of the girls lives. we wanted more stability and security for them. n the only way we could guarantee that was if we just simply did thigns ourselves so we kissed the agency n their crazy nanies goodbye n went back to taking care of the girls ourselves. hence my title the suburbanaija mom.

nanny troubles

i posted a comment on another blog and felt some of it would be interesting reading. not really what i had planned for the day but oh well.

i was complaining about my frustrations with nannies.
when i use the owrd nanny, people start to raise their brows especially akatas n their oyinbo counterparts. i am in no way one of those "lifestyle of the rich n famous " persons. but giving my situation, i needed ocassional help.

I don't know if there is any one more cautious or protective than my husband. he soo hates having to trust his girls in th ehands of strangers. forget taking them to a baby sitters. r u kidding, u want him to have a heart attack? anyways, when the girls where about 9mths, i decided to try n go back to work. i was tired of all the goo goo gaa gaa. abeg my vocabulary was begining to be limited to baby talk. besides i was going crazy stayng home since about 4mths into the pregnancy when i was put on bed rest. b4 getting pregnant, i was the epitomy of a jamaican. i was so used to working n taking care of my self. i proudly worked 2 or sometimes 3 jobs to be able to pay for my academia. i proudly display all my diplomas in my husband's study. from community college thru, a private university and grad school all by my self and no students loans hanging round my neck. it was well worth the sacrifice.

i don't know why , but the hubby n i decided to try things out on our own. i tried to work during the day and he worked at nite. it was such a horrible idea. i'ld come home fron work, walk thru the door n my husband without saying a word would just hand over the babies, walk in the bedroom and slam the door. it wasn't totally a disaster, at least my husband came out of it with a new found respect for me and women. he did not really understand how much work it was. after all he'ld go to work and come back to us at home. i didnot have to go earn a living outside. how hard can taking care of children be? i guess he found out the hard way. well we didnot need anyone to tell us that we needed help.

anyways, when it came to deciding what we wanted in a nanny, my husband and i both decided on these criterias: older, mature with tons of experience, non nigerian (that was me i did not want drama sorry, no predjudice against my own people, i just wanted to stay happy n drama free), chrisitian and clean. there is an agency here run by a naija that we thot at the time charged reasonable prices. we decided to try them out. it was our first time n we really needed someone like yesterday cos hubby was having to call in for work quite a bit cos he was just too tired sometimes and coupled with the fact that somelady that my mother had begged us to help out by giving her a job told us the day she was supposed to start that she couldn't come in till the nxt week cos she had to deal with her drivers licence and papers issues real quick. mind u, we wouldn't have known of her plan not to show up had i niot called her to let her know i was on the way to come pick her up.

the agancy sent us someone the nxt day n we just gladdly and with great relief, ushered her in.
i should have known it was a match made in hell when
1) she could not speak english. she spoke french. i believe she was from cameroun. i guess i figured how hard could it be. i understood a little french n she spoke broken english now my husband, i figured would manage some how, he probably wont have to deal wiv her that much right? wrong. btw, my hubby is american wiv a nigerian dad who he doesn't know. he has a nigerian name so as far as he is concerned he's nigerian. as for me, if we can't sit and yarn in yoruba or even pidgeon or yet still pronounce ur own name, unfortunatley u r as akata as can be. but i guess he's nigerian at the heart. lol no one loves those old fashioned ifa, yemoja, oduduwa like niger movies like he does. they don't even make those kinda movies anymore. ok back to the tale at hand
2) she wore more make up than i did
3) insisted she was <50 when she clearly looked like my grandmothers age
4) her son seemed too eager to drop her off and made me promise if we had any problems to be sure to call him. he would work things out.
oh i forgot ot mention, he begged us to keep her with us on her weekends off. he did not want her coming home because she did not get along with his wife and they we having a rought time n mind end up in divorce if soemthing does not give.


well to be honest, we went thru our honeymoon phase, everybody managed to get along. my hubby just simply let me to communicate with her. if he needed to say anything, he'ld call me at work n say"honey could u tell mama that........ now things started to go array when :

if we tried to ask her if the babies had eaten, just u know regular converstion or just wanting to know, she'ld get upset n reply we shouldn't tell her how to do her job. she'ld even try n tell me what to do being that oh she is my mom as she would say, she has done this over with her kids n grandkids.
that lady hoarded any and every thing that was a container. anytime i went to a carryout or brought home anything in a container she would want to keep the containers. i don't know what she taught she could do with them maybe sell them in her village or something. i'ld even find things i had thrown in the trash would magically appear around the house.
she ate out of the pot. seriously, she refsued to eat out of a dinner plate. she would cook and take the pot to her room and eat right out of it.
she was over the top that lady, i chuckle as i remember, gosh i can't beleive we put up with her crap. i mean imagine, anytime we went on outings, the lady would just sit down n go to sleep. n leave me to care 4 the girls. i mean every single time. n mind u the girls slept in my room n i took care of them at nite. i mean her work day is over after they take a bath n r put to bed around 7.30-8p.m. luckily i had been so used to doing things by my self b4 whe came anyway. even at home she would be sending me on errands like my grandmother did.

one day, i was in the kitchen n she was in the living rm n she was in the living rm with d girls n all of a sudden i heard a thump n all i hear nxt is aloud shrill of a cry form one of the girls. i ran out there n i asked her what happened, she said nothing that the babyjust stared crying. i asked her if the baby fell m she said no n started crying that i accused her of dropping the kid. drama queen to the core.

i was having a party for the girls 1yr old party, this lady made it a point of duty to lecture us on how to take pictures, who should be in what picture and literally shoved people out of the way so she could be in the picture. i still vividly recall her voice saying "no no na me dey take care of this pikin them. na me supposed standa for this place."
at the same party, she pulled my step father inlaw up and started to dance with him in a slow dance kinda way in the presence of my mother in law. she totally forgot about the kids.
did i mention she was drinking also. i was later told she asked him when he was going to coem take her out to the movies.!

and oh yeah did i mention she was a big drama queen. at the slight thing, she'd start crying and saying how cruel the world was, her son this n that n just all sorts of crazyness.

she only stayed with us for about 4nths but it seems like an eterntiy.


the last straw was when one day, my husband came home from work n................... i'll have to continue 2morrow cos is past midnite n i can hardly keep my eye open. forgive any typos, i am soooo sleeppy. aight 2morrow it is.