i think my husband has lost his darn mind!!! i don't know who he thinks he married but he bests believe i ain't no fool. i wasn't born yesterday either.
i just hate it when people just lie so blatantly and even more when they r caught in a lie n they try n turn things around on you n make u think u r d one going crazy.
my hubby calls me up a little after 5pm, he egts my voice mail, leaves me a message saying: "oh baby, guess what i just got a raise at work. my manager has been really looking out for me. i think i will stay behind n help them finish up some things that we r working on just to show my appreciation. i will probably go to the gym afterwards b4 i come home."
i listen to the message, no qualms. i can understand his excitement. he actually just started this position last week. he got promoted n actually there were quite a few haters at his job who went telling his new boss stuff about him b4 he got the position but the boss didn't budge. he got hired anyways. now just a week into d position, he is getting another raise. i would be excited too. i didn't think anything about it. infact i was like good, give me more time to get some more things done b4 he gets home.
ok so now its about 10.15, i remember that i left my watch at the gym. i had been in there earlier. so i pack up the girls, jump in the car n head to the gym to go see if someone had found my watch. i debated for a long time at home b4 going. i was tired n didnot feel like steeping out again. besides i had changed into my nightie but the fact that hubby just bought the watch for me yesterday, i always loose things n didn't feel like hearing hubbys mouth, and also the longer it gets,the likely hood of someone picking it up n taking it was greater. i remembered exactly where i left it. in the slot for bottles on the treadmill machine in the front near the window. i am like good anyways the girls will get a chance to see their dad b4 they go to bed.
i get to the gym, go in check for my watch where i left it, it wasn't there so i went to their lost n found n thank God a good samaritan had picked it up n turned it in. so i got my watch thanked everyone n went in search for my husband. he was no where to be found. i went outside to see if his car was there but it wasn't. i figured he had probably left n was on his way home or home already. i called the house as i leave the gym, no answer. i am like ok ?
so i get home, he is still not there, i call his cell, no answer. i am begigning to worry. by now he should have left work surely. there really isn't much they can do at his job after hours. should i call the cops n see if he got in an accident? anyways i didn't have to cos he called about a number of minutes later..
me: honey r u ok
him: yeah, i just picked up my phone from the locker n saw u i missed ur calls
me: u r still at the gym?
him: yeah
me: that must have been some long work out.
him: oh, it wasn't that long. i hung out abit at work wiv my excoworkers from the other department b4 i came here
me: oh, so what time did u fianlly get to the gym?
him: abt 10
mind u i got to the gym probably aroung 10:30 n i left around 10:42 n called the house at that time. i know cos i checked my phone. n its now 11:15
me: oh ok.
him: anyways i am goingto leave now, i have to go back to work, i left my.........
me ( i cut him off): whatever i will see u when u get home
i hung up.
i call him back right away. no answer. i called again he finally picks up
me: honey, can u go back to the office i left something there earlier in the day
him: i left already, i am buying gas now
me: ok just turn back u can't have gone too far
him: actually i am on my way back to my job
me: but u just left like 1 min ago, u can't have gone far. besided the gas station in in front of the gym
him: well i told u i am already on my way to my job. when i leave there i will go back to the gym
me: that makes absolutley no sense.
him: are u trying to ask me something here. why don't u just say whats on ur mind. u don't beleive i was at the gym
me: well how can i when u weren't there. i just left the gym cos i forgot my watch n u sure were not there. i looked for u cos i brought the girls
him: i don't like where this converstion is going. i have been at work working alday n u r accusing me of what
mind u he doesn't sound convincing. i know him. if he ever gets accused of something he didn't do, he gets really upset n mad. he was not upset. just stumped. cos he was caught in a lie
me: u know if u wanted to hang out wiv ur coworkers or something i would never tell u not to go but for u to lie, obviously, there is something u shouldn't be doign that u r trying to hide
him: we will talk about this when i get home
me: wherever it is that u have been they can't keep u. i mean why bother even coming home. its almost midnite. u have to be at wotk inthe morning. they can surely keep u longer since they obviosuly come ist b4 ur family. n click i hung up
i am begining to wonder why the need of marriage. why do we have to get married. i hate bullshit. i really do. i would rahter not deal. but whats the alternative? leave, raise my children by myself. i am getting real tired. its always on thing or the other. at least i know one thing for sure. i won't be missing his companionship. as is he is hardly here. always working n when he is supposed to be home getting some rest he is too busy running the streets.not hanging with friends. really he doesn't have any. i am not kidding. besides co workers. atleast thats what i know. so not hanging wiv people, just running the streets. i swear, if he is really where he says he is, then he sure is a hell of a shopahollic more than i am.
i hate that he has put doubt in my mind. he may not have been creeping. trust me i am not naive. it is extremely possibile. he may have just been simply hanging out. why not just be straight up. the worst i will do is sulk that u r not coming home to spend the time wiv me n thats is the worst.
the institution of marriage is just soo much work
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
rude awakening
i woke up today n resolved to be more aware of things going on around me.
i decided to start including in my blog at least one topic of important news, politics or jusy simply things going on in the world.
then i opened my email. here is a link that someone had sent to me. it is unbelievable. but we shouldn't be surprised, we were warned that this was coming. but to actually think that people would fall for this is just unbelievable to me.
at least it bings into perspective whats more important to me. and that is my relationship with God.
here is the link
http://www.cnn.com/video/partners/clickability/index.html?url=/video/us/2007/02/15/zarrella.man.jesus.cnn
i decided to start including in my blog at least one topic of important news, politics or jusy simply things going on in the world.
then i opened my email. here is a link that someone had sent to me. it is unbelievable. but we shouldn't be surprised, we were warned that this was coming. but to actually think that people would fall for this is just unbelievable to me.
at least it bings into perspective whats more important to me. and that is my relationship with God.
here is the link
http://www.cnn.com/video/partners/clickability/index.html?url=/video/us/2007/02/15/zarrella.man.jesus.cnn
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
skinny
here's another of my paranoia. i think my girls are too skinny. their last check up they were at about 50percentaile of their weight. that is 50% of kids their age way more than they do. while they are i think about 90 something percentile of their height. i ahev always know they r pretty tall for their age. peopel always pass them for 4 yr olds when they were 2. anyways they are going to be three nxt mth. i ususally haev a hard tiem shopping for them cos they 4 skinny but tall. the size 2 clothing are big in the waist but short in lenght. size 3s n fours are way big in the waist n lenght is ok. so unless the skirt or pants come with adjustable waists or pull strings, they r no good. of course u won't beleive how hard it is to find tow of the same sizes let alone three. i don't know why most times i find things i like i can only find one pair. u know what i should probably start a clothing line for multiples. hmm.
oh yes oh! i am one of those that ensures her kids wear d same outfit. whats the point of being a mulitple if u can't go all out n be cute like that. infact i think some people trying to do the different thing or just couldn't get the same outfits all in the same color got me maybe two in same color, one different or all same outfit different colors, i regifted them oh! yes i am that petty.
(the whole weight) thing doesn't help that my girls flat out refuse to eat their vegetables. sometimes its hard enough getting them to eat but veges. forget it. even if i make rice with mixed vegetables, they will sit there n pick out every little peice of vege in it b4 eating the rice or simply just refuse to eat it. any ides on how to get kids to eat their veges. as an adult i know i have struggled with eating balanced meals but i have been trying to make sure the girls get all their needed nutirents but i always end up throwing away my well cooked veges in the trash after each meal.
oh yeah another thing they still suck their fingers!!! i just don't know how to get them off it. well while we r on the how do i's, how do i get them totally potty trained. i mean they r potty trained up to an extent. during the day they go to the bathroom them selves. my problem is atnite n when they take naps in the afternoon. i think by three they should have been totally trained right?
any ideas r totally welcomed.
oh yes oh! i am one of those that ensures her kids wear d same outfit. whats the point of being a mulitple if u can't go all out n be cute like that. infact i think some people trying to do the different thing or just couldn't get the same outfits all in the same color got me maybe two in same color, one different or all same outfit different colors, i regifted them oh! yes i am that petty.
(the whole weight) thing doesn't help that my girls flat out refuse to eat their vegetables. sometimes its hard enough getting them to eat but veges. forget it. even if i make rice with mixed vegetables, they will sit there n pick out every little peice of vege in it b4 eating the rice or simply just refuse to eat it. any ides on how to get kids to eat their veges. as an adult i know i have struggled with eating balanced meals but i have been trying to make sure the girls get all their needed nutirents but i always end up throwing away my well cooked veges in the trash after each meal.
oh yeah another thing they still suck their fingers!!! i just don't know how to get them off it. well while we r on the how do i's, how do i get them totally potty trained. i mean they r potty trained up to an extent. during the day they go to the bathroom them selves. my problem is atnite n when they take naps in the afternoon. i think by three they should have been totally trained right?
any ideas r totally welcomed.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Dear diary
i have come out of solitude yet again. i haven't blogged continuously in a bit. i won't bother giving excuses cos they would be just that excuses!
i feel a dear diary kinda entry coming on. just till i get back in the swing of writing again. u know the good ole writers block. even though i dare not consider my self a writer. i ran across a blog the other day i think www.olawunmi.blogspot.com i just love his command of words. at ist i thot it was a woman thanks to the name, shoo i was glad at finding another talented sister but i am not disappointed non the less. the writer is a he.
anyways back to my dear diary entry.
Got a very slow start to the day. i could not get out of bed till 11.a.m today. eventhough i haer woken up earlier to make hubby is breakfast b4 he went to work n just flopped right back in bed as soon as i set his plate down on the table. i have blamed it so far on the last 2 classes i took at the gym. the killer barbell strength and step classes. u know one should really know ones place when it comes to things like that. the barbell strength training class was an accident. i went intothe class thinking i was going into a step class. i chose a nice spot in back so i can slack off when i get tired without feeling too guilty. i saw everyone picking out equipments, barbells, extraweights, mats e.t.c tyhat should have been the lightbulb moment but i was sure i had checked the schedule right, it said step at 5.45 so i was sure they would whoop out the steps shortly, well i folloewd the masses picked up some eqipment toon waied for the teacher as we were a little early. i looked a round the class. hmm the only blck chick. well not too surprised, the neighbourhood th gym was in was kinda an exclusive one anyways so go figure. but not only was i d only blck chick but everyone else seemed to be the type a personality, size 0 wearing chick. hmm, what r tehy doing in here anyways. anywaus i got chatting wiv soem of the ladies nxt to me n the instrucotr came in. i sear she looked no more than 16 and yet another size 0. whatever u'all, making me look so obese. anyways she introduced herself n said the name of the class i was like bar bell gini? but i was not ging to be outdone by all those size 0s. n besides God forbird the lazy black stereotyoe so i was sticking to my guns.
lets say about 10 mins into the class, i was looking at the cloack, when is this turture going to end. i looked around n everyone was just chilling like they went even lifting anything. n the instructor had the nerves to tell us to do push ups. i jusy lay oe th florr till they were done. i am not about to kill my self o jare. well i endured it till the end unbelievably so. but nxt time i see euipments i will be running the other way. so the nextday, yesterday comes, i am here again n thank God i finally found the right class. steps, how ahrd can it be. if anyone can usrvie the 1004 steps living on the 11th floor. i should be good. except, i didn't factor in a psycho trainer. that lasy had has doing crazy combinations like no other, its hard enough trying to keep up especially since i did asheju n had three levels up when my outof shape beginner self should ahd just stcuk tothe basic steps , i went n raised mines up three levels. need i say that my heart felt like it was going to pop right out my chest n my calves, oh my calves, hmm only i understamd the kind og limping n walking style that i have been reduced to. anyways she had d nerve to pit togehter combinations that make u actually think. i am sorry my brain is too busy thinking what d hell r u doing? r u trying to commit suicide? what tiem is it? i am never coming back? shoot which is my left foot again? i am too tired to even rationale that. then u got me doing mumbo sashe, 2step, round the world, travel knees, 2 step, lstep then jumping jacks enter on right knee blah blah blah. i couldn't take it. stood n wathch the other hefers do the thing like it was easy.
so ok my whole body is beat up. but i am going for the kick boxing class today. hope i won't be dead by the end of the wk. oh i do have latin fusion to look forward too how hard can that be shebi its salsa now.
anyways back to my day today. i finally drag my self out of bed around 11 when my phone rang and it was this higly undicernable male voice asking me 4 directions to my place. oh, i only was able to figure that out after like about 15 mins of hun , i can;t understand u. ok i hate to say this but i cannot stand nor understand why these peeps form spanish speaking countries refuse to learn english.!!!!
i mean some of them have been in this country for yrs. imagine, 10,15, 20 yrs living here in the states n still no english haba. some of them don't even try. why should they afterall spanish is almost a secong languauge here. try use calling cards its no more press 1 4 english but presso numero uno for espaniol then u can press 2 4 english. call any company up that has automated recordings, same thing. there is spanish translation of every literature, instructions. i mean why should they bother.
other nationales come here n even ifnot master d language at least they try. but not these people. what happened to the good ole if u live in rome act like a roman. i mean spanish is almost becoming a compulsory 2nd language. some job requirement actually state 4 bilingual in spanish a must.
how in d world are they able 2 get awya wiv this. they really need to go try that wiv the brits.
anyways back to my story so i end up spending another good ole 20 mins trying to spell the world little. i actually only got tthrough li. the t was a no go. he kept on saying c. i said nooo. t like tom, truck, u r a truck driver aren't u. ( he was coming to tow my brothers car) . good 30mins n i still couldn't get done spelling the name of my street. i agev up n just told him to call my brother let him deal wiv this mess.
he finally got to the beginnign of my street n said he couldn't come in cos he had a huge truck n a car on it n my streeet had too many trees. he wanted me to drive the car to meet him. i am like dude, i told u like 3 times already. the car doesn't drive. thats why its being towed duh.! anyways long story short i end up using my car to bump this car doen the strrt, inot a busy street allthe way to where he parked the truck at a mcdonalds. imagine if we had been stopped by the cops. the ar didn't even have tags. only a black person n a spanish sperson car do that in broad daylight wiv no fear.
well thats it for todays dear diary entry. gotta go do my wifly duties. didn't get a chance to proof read. forgive any typos
i feel a dear diary kinda entry coming on. just till i get back in the swing of writing again. u know the good ole writers block. even though i dare not consider my self a writer. i ran across a blog the other day i think www.olawunmi.blogspot.com i just love his command of words. at ist i thot it was a woman thanks to the name, shoo i was glad at finding another talented sister but i am not disappointed non the less. the writer is a he.
anyways back to my dear diary entry.
Got a very slow start to the day. i could not get out of bed till 11.a.m today. eventhough i haer woken up earlier to make hubby is breakfast b4 he went to work n just flopped right back in bed as soon as i set his plate down on the table. i have blamed it so far on the last 2 classes i took at the gym. the killer barbell strength and step classes. u know one should really know ones place when it comes to things like that. the barbell strength training class was an accident. i went intothe class thinking i was going into a step class. i chose a nice spot in back so i can slack off when i get tired without feeling too guilty. i saw everyone picking out equipments, barbells, extraweights, mats e.t.c tyhat should have been the lightbulb moment but i was sure i had checked the schedule right, it said step at 5.45 so i was sure they would whoop out the steps shortly, well i folloewd the masses picked up some eqipment toon waied for the teacher as we were a little early. i looked a round the class. hmm the only blck chick. well not too surprised, the neighbourhood th gym was in was kinda an exclusive one anyways so go figure. but not only was i d only blck chick but everyone else seemed to be the type a personality, size 0 wearing chick. hmm, what r tehy doing in here anyways. anywaus i got chatting wiv soem of the ladies nxt to me n the instrucotr came in. i sear she looked no more than 16 and yet another size 0. whatever u'all, making me look so obese. anyways she introduced herself n said the name of the class i was like bar bell gini? but i was not ging to be outdone by all those size 0s. n besides God forbird the lazy black stereotyoe so i was sticking to my guns.
lets say about 10 mins into the class, i was looking at the cloack, when is this turture going to end. i looked around n everyone was just chilling like they went even lifting anything. n the instructor had the nerves to tell us to do push ups. i jusy lay oe th florr till they were done. i am not about to kill my self o jare. well i endured it till the end unbelievably so. but nxt time i see euipments i will be running the other way. so the nextday, yesterday comes, i am here again n thank God i finally found the right class. steps, how ahrd can it be. if anyone can usrvie the 1004 steps living on the 11th floor. i should be good. except, i didn't factor in a psycho trainer. that lasy had has doing crazy combinations like no other, its hard enough trying to keep up especially since i did asheju n had three levels up when my outof shape beginner self should ahd just stcuk tothe basic steps , i went n raised mines up three levels. need i say that my heart felt like it was going to pop right out my chest n my calves, oh my calves, hmm only i understamd the kind og limping n walking style that i have been reduced to. anyways she had d nerve to pit togehter combinations that make u actually think. i am sorry my brain is too busy thinking what d hell r u doing? r u trying to commit suicide? what tiem is it? i am never coming back? shoot which is my left foot again? i am too tired to even rationale that. then u got me doing mumbo sashe, 2step, round the world, travel knees, 2 step, lstep then jumping jacks enter on right knee blah blah blah. i couldn't take it. stood n wathch the other hefers do the thing like it was easy.
so ok my whole body is beat up. but i am going for the kick boxing class today. hope i won't be dead by the end of the wk. oh i do have latin fusion to look forward too how hard can that be shebi its salsa now.
anyways back to my day today. i finally drag my self out of bed around 11 when my phone rang and it was this higly undicernable male voice asking me 4 directions to my place. oh, i only was able to figure that out after like about 15 mins of hun , i can;t understand u. ok i hate to say this but i cannot stand nor understand why these peeps form spanish speaking countries refuse to learn english.!!!!
i mean some of them have been in this country for yrs. imagine, 10,15, 20 yrs living here in the states n still no english haba. some of them don't even try. why should they afterall spanish is almost a secong languauge here. try use calling cards its no more press 1 4 english but presso numero uno for espaniol then u can press 2 4 english. call any company up that has automated recordings, same thing. there is spanish translation of every literature, instructions. i mean why should they bother.
other nationales come here n even ifnot master d language at least they try. but not these people. what happened to the good ole if u live in rome act like a roman. i mean spanish is almost becoming a compulsory 2nd language. some job requirement actually state 4 bilingual in spanish a must.
how in d world are they able 2 get awya wiv this. they really need to go try that wiv the brits.
anyways back to my story so i end up spending another good ole 20 mins trying to spell the world little. i actually only got tthrough li. the t was a no go. he kept on saying c. i said nooo. t like tom, truck, u r a truck driver aren't u. ( he was coming to tow my brothers car) . good 30mins n i still couldn't get done spelling the name of my street. i agev up n just told him to call my brother let him deal wiv this mess.
he finally got to the beginnign of my street n said he couldn't come in cos he had a huge truck n a car on it n my streeet had too many trees. he wanted me to drive the car to meet him. i am like dude, i told u like 3 times already. the car doesn't drive. thats why its being towed duh.! anyways long story short i end up using my car to bump this car doen the strrt, inot a busy street allthe way to where he parked the truck at a mcdonalds. imagine if we had been stopped by the cops. the ar didn't even have tags. only a black person n a spanish sperson car do that in broad daylight wiv no fear.
well thats it for todays dear diary entry. gotta go do my wifly duties. didn't get a chance to proof read. forgive any typos
Monday, February 12, 2007
2 min recession
i supposedly took a leave of absecnce from blogville. i know but i had to come n share this with my adopted family at blogville. i am in soo much awe of what happened. may be i am just being naive or as i have been told oversensitive. i will let u'all formulate ur own opinions.
right now, my eyes r blodd shot red fron crying, i am sniffling, n just trying to get my thots straight.
here is a dialogue that ensued probably 1 hr ago
hubby: so dear why again did u ask my brother to ocme get some food? did he ask u for some or what?
me: no he did not ask me for some. like i told u yesterday when i called u to ask 4 his number, i just felt like being nice to him. afterall he is my brother in law. i made alot of efo so i felt he could use some if he wanted.
hubby: but why though? he has been here in atl 4 about a yr n u have never offered him a plate of food b4. why d change of heart.
me: we he lived with us for half the time so why would i offer him food. anything cooked was up for grabs 4 anyone that lives here. i mean was i expected to ask him everytime if he wanted some food. besides he ate whatever he wanted whenevr he felt like. he needed no invitation
hubby: well i still want to know why the change of heart. he has been living on his own since november n u have never once cared abt him so why now
me: see me see trouble oh! i was feeling kind n i offered ur brother food. is that a crime. abeg next tiem i wont offer him anything if am going to have to go through interrogation like this.
hubby: (after about 20mins , he is climbing up in bed) well he isn't coming to get any food.
me;: oh?
hubby: i talked to him this morning, he isn't coming
me: he could have called me. what r u guys trying to insinuate anyways? i can't offer things out of the kindness of my heart.
hubby: its just real suspect thats all.
me: what??? r u trying to say i am trying to poison his food or what?
hubby: u said it not me but hey u can never say
me: oh my gosh! how can u even think that of me? didn't u eat out of the same food?r u saying i can poison u too?
hubby: all i know is that its just weird
me: oh my God! u have turned me into some kind of wicked witch. what would i do somethign like that 4. he doesn't bother me n i don't bother him
me: u know what to hellwith ur folks. i can never do enough or good 4 them
hubby: what abt urs. i see thru their facade. they don't like me either
me: at least they don't go abt talking abt u behind ur back. they always say good things abt u all d time
hubby; thats what u say. but anyways don't worry gosh darn it u 're going to get ur citizenship1 they don't have to worry abt that
me: what d hell. r u stryingto say i married u or they let me marry u cos of papers?
hubby: silence
me: if thats d case, lets call immigration mow n tellthem that theres no need. we r not going trhu wiv this anymore.
me: i called immigration n said here i have done d leg work 4 u. tell them what u want. he refused to take the phone
me: look i don't need u 4 anything. b4 u came along i was doing exremely wellby my self for my self.
hubby: silence
i storm out call my mother n start packing my shit. u d hell does he think he is?
rewind a bit.
if u've read my prior post, u'd have learned of the only kinda fallling out i had with his brother. it was just once but its been like three times n the spiritual realm. the day we had that falling out, i had dreamt thatmy self n hubbys brother had an argument. as i am walking back upstairs, i look back n see him trying to stab me in the back with a knife. he stops n i send him packing. as soon as he opens the door to leave, hubby comes back form home n sees him wiv his stuff, didn't even listen to what i had to say n starts blaming me. as soon as i woke from this dream, my husband walks thru d door, just coming back form work. d ist thing he asked me was how r u? how was my brother., everything ok. i was stumped. anyways i tellhim to sit down while i procedd to tellhim a short version of the dream i had just woken up from.
so my husnabd decides to prevent any issues to call his brother n just lay down the rules of staying wiv us. read my prior blog i believe titled "have u been called a nigga b4".
thats just dream one. dream too actually happened the night b4 my brother-in-law decided to leave the house. i didn't tell anyone abt my dream till after wards. i told hubby. hubby n his brother had a falling out n his brother decided that he couldn't abide by his rules so he was better off getting his own place. i had absolutley nothing to do with it. i think they fellout cos his brother oj was driving one of his cars n never checked the oil. when he has a flat, he calls hubby to come change it for him. he is like 24 yrs old i belive. anyways when my hubby brought this up the biy siad well my mom took care of all that stuff for me when i was home!!??
anyways like i said, he just decided he couldn't live by his brothers expectations n decided to bounce.
meanwhile i had dreamt d night b4 that me n him had a falling out again n that cosed me n hubby to get seperated.
ok third dream was after he was gone n same thing, me n him having a falling out.
i was watchign joel last night. listening to him preach. n i made a decision to be icer to d boy despite all n just let go of whatevr i had against him. i guess i was stil abit upset that he had insulted me by callign me third world. but anyways i call hubby, ask him for his brothers number n tell him i am going to call him n as him to come pick up a plate of food. i m thinking inmy head, efo is his favorite anywyas, he will probably be in heaven if i call him. he loves food.
i call him, khe sounds estatic n says spinach stew, yum, i will be there to pick it up tomorrow
funny thing is i kinda debated asking him 4 like 4hrs. hubby left 4 work around 6 n i didn't call him till 10 to ask him. another thing i can't shake off is that its like there was fire in front of me n i willingly put my fingers in it!
apparently he must haev called hubby n told him ur wife offered me food n i am not going to take it. i just can't believe that they would think abt soemthign like that. especially hubby.!!
well i told him he must be the bigger fool if he married soemone he doesn't know. how can he possibly think i am capable to something like that.
i told him if thats the case then i would advise him not to eat d meals i make becos how does he know they r not poisoned.
well,i cried my eyes out. packed some of my things with the girls in a heap in suitecases that r just lying there upstairs. we r not talking. my mom's not purchasing tickects for me to come home. i have a job interview in another hr n a half. i am exhausted. my phone is ringing off the hook cos i am helping 2 girl friends plan their wedding. one nxt mth the other in june n i am trying to be as cheerful as ever. my girls r wondering why momy is crying. i have been told by my uncle who is like my confidant. mes my moms brother that i am over reacting. he said. hen to ba je pe ori pelu obirin imi nko. kilo ma wa se.?
i need take a deep breath.
omara where r u?abeg when r u coming back from portugal
bluntremi: thanks 4 d concern i need time to get some things in order. but now u can't get a glimpse.
right now, my eyes r blodd shot red fron crying, i am sniffling, n just trying to get my thots straight.
here is a dialogue that ensued probably 1 hr ago
hubby: so dear why again did u ask my brother to ocme get some food? did he ask u for some or what?
me: no he did not ask me for some. like i told u yesterday when i called u to ask 4 his number, i just felt like being nice to him. afterall he is my brother in law. i made alot of efo so i felt he could use some if he wanted.
hubby: but why though? he has been here in atl 4 about a yr n u have never offered him a plate of food b4. why d change of heart.
me: we he lived with us for half the time so why would i offer him food. anything cooked was up for grabs 4 anyone that lives here. i mean was i expected to ask him everytime if he wanted some food. besides he ate whatever he wanted whenevr he felt like. he needed no invitation
hubby: well i still want to know why the change of heart. he has been living on his own since november n u have never once cared abt him so why now
me: see me see trouble oh! i was feeling kind n i offered ur brother food. is that a crime. abeg next tiem i wont offer him anything if am going to have to go through interrogation like this.
hubby: (after about 20mins , he is climbing up in bed) well he isn't coming to get any food.
me;: oh?
hubby: i talked to him this morning, he isn't coming
me: he could have called me. what r u guys trying to insinuate anyways? i can't offer things out of the kindness of my heart.
hubby: its just real suspect thats all.
me: what??? r u trying to say i am trying to poison his food or what?
hubby: u said it not me but hey u can never say
me: oh my gosh! how can u even think that of me? didn't u eat out of the same food?r u saying i can poison u too?
hubby: all i know is that its just weird
me: oh my God! u have turned me into some kind of wicked witch. what would i do somethign like that 4. he doesn't bother me n i don't bother him
me: u know what to hellwith ur folks. i can never do enough or good 4 them
hubby: what abt urs. i see thru their facade. they don't like me either
me: at least they don't go abt talking abt u behind ur back. they always say good things abt u all d time
hubby; thats what u say. but anyways don't worry gosh darn it u 're going to get ur citizenship1 they don't have to worry abt that
me: what d hell. r u stryingto say i married u or they let me marry u cos of papers?
hubby: silence
me: if thats d case, lets call immigration mow n tellthem that theres no need. we r not going trhu wiv this anymore.
me: i called immigration n said here i have done d leg work 4 u. tell them what u want. he refused to take the phone
me: look i don't need u 4 anything. b4 u came along i was doing exremely wellby my self for my self.
hubby: silence
i storm out call my mother n start packing my shit. u d hell does he think he is?
rewind a bit.
if u've read my prior post, u'd have learned of the only kinda fallling out i had with his brother. it was just once but its been like three times n the spiritual realm. the day we had that falling out, i had dreamt thatmy self n hubbys brother had an argument. as i am walking back upstairs, i look back n see him trying to stab me in the back with a knife. he stops n i send him packing. as soon as he opens the door to leave, hubby comes back form home n sees him wiv his stuff, didn't even listen to what i had to say n starts blaming me. as soon as i woke from this dream, my husband walks thru d door, just coming back form work. d ist thing he asked me was how r u? how was my brother., everything ok. i was stumped. anyways i tellhim to sit down while i procedd to tellhim a short version of the dream i had just woken up from.
so my husnabd decides to prevent any issues to call his brother n just lay down the rules of staying wiv us. read my prior blog i believe titled "have u been called a nigga b4".
thats just dream one. dream too actually happened the night b4 my brother-in-law decided to leave the house. i didn't tell anyone abt my dream till after wards. i told hubby. hubby n his brother had a falling out n his brother decided that he couldn't abide by his rules so he was better off getting his own place. i had absolutley nothing to do with it. i think they fellout cos his brother oj was driving one of his cars n never checked the oil. when he has a flat, he calls hubby to come change it for him. he is like 24 yrs old i belive. anyways when my hubby brought this up the biy siad well my mom took care of all that stuff for me when i was home!!??
anyways like i said, he just decided he couldn't live by his brothers expectations n decided to bounce.
meanwhile i had dreamt d night b4 that me n him had a falling out again n that cosed me n hubby to get seperated.
ok third dream was after he was gone n same thing, me n him having a falling out.
i was watchign joel last night. listening to him preach. n i made a decision to be icer to d boy despite all n just let go of whatevr i had against him. i guess i was stil abit upset that he had insulted me by callign me third world. but anyways i call hubby, ask him for his brothers number n tell him i am going to call him n as him to come pick up a plate of food. i m thinking inmy head, efo is his favorite anywyas, he will probably be in heaven if i call him. he loves food.
i call him, khe sounds estatic n says spinach stew, yum, i will be there to pick it up tomorrow
funny thing is i kinda debated asking him 4 like 4hrs. hubby left 4 work around 6 n i didn't call him till 10 to ask him. another thing i can't shake off is that its like there was fire in front of me n i willingly put my fingers in it!
apparently he must haev called hubby n told him ur wife offered me food n i am not going to take it. i just can't believe that they would think abt soemthign like that. especially hubby.!!
well i told him he must be the bigger fool if he married soemone he doesn't know. how can he possibly think i am capable to something like that.
i told him if thats the case then i would advise him not to eat d meals i make becos how does he know they r not poisoned.
well,i cried my eyes out. packed some of my things with the girls in a heap in suitecases that r just lying there upstairs. we r not talking. my mom's not purchasing tickects for me to come home. i have a job interview in another hr n a half. i am exhausted. my phone is ringing off the hook cos i am helping 2 girl friends plan their wedding. one nxt mth the other in june n i am trying to be as cheerful as ever. my girls r wondering why momy is crying. i have been told by my uncle who is like my confidant. mes my moms brother that i am over reacting. he said. hen to ba je pe ori pelu obirin imi nko. kilo ma wa se.?
i need take a deep breath.
omara where r u?abeg when r u coming back from portugal
bluntremi: thanks 4 d concern i need time to get some things in order. but now u can't get a glimpse.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
A.W.O.L
MY FAMILY AT BLOGVILLE , UNREGRETABLY, I AM GOING TO HAVE TO GO AWOL FOR JUST A LITTLE BIT. AS I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP UP CONSISTENTLY. IT WOULD ONLY BE FOR A WHILE N I WILL BE BACK.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
nana vs grandma
i have a few diclaimers i must make. i don't really dislike my mother in law. i hope no one got that notion from my previous posts. she is real cool peeps or should i say i loved her pretty much until it came to light that she may have or may not have said some very unpleasant things abt me. i don't even know if i should go there. well u'all should know the jist from a couple of blogs ago.
but really she is nice, christian american and a nana. yes nana, not grandma. i'll make the distinction shortly. now i will take her any day any time rather than any of those meddling loud, arrogant , controlling nigerian mils out there. i have heard horror stories so i will be the ist one to say mines ain't half as bad but here is something i have come to learn though,
nana vs grandma nana: looks and feels like a grandma, except:
1) the grand kids can come visit but be sure to pack ur children with u when u live. no drop offs, no i gotta run to the store real quick.
2)when the baby's diaper is wet or soiled comes to wake u up to come change the diaper cos nanas don't do diaper duty. hey 4get midnite duties too. lady flat out disclaimed nursing babies in the middle of the night. she had her younger sisters for that
3) gets mistaken for the baby's momma.
4)drives a sport car instead of a family car
5)hangs out more than your teenage brother.
6) too busy travelling the world n enjoying retirement.
hmm i really shouldn't hate. wouldn't any one like to have the perks of a nana? i'ld like to say oh i will be so grandmotherly but if given the option, shoo if i worked hard, i should be ablt to play hard when retirement comes abi? just might take the nana route. pretty tempting but u never know. what about u?
but really she is nice, christian american and a nana. yes nana, not grandma. i'll make the distinction shortly. now i will take her any day any time rather than any of those meddling loud, arrogant , controlling nigerian mils out there. i have heard horror stories so i will be the ist one to say mines ain't half as bad but here is something i have come to learn though,
nana vs grandma nana: looks and feels like a grandma, except:
1) the grand kids can come visit but be sure to pack ur children with u when u live. no drop offs, no i gotta run to the store real quick.
2)when the baby's diaper is wet or soiled comes to wake u up to come change the diaper cos nanas don't do diaper duty. hey 4get midnite duties too. lady flat out disclaimed nursing babies in the middle of the night. she had her younger sisters for that
3) gets mistaken for the baby's momma.
4)drives a sport car instead of a family car
5)hangs out more than your teenage brother.
6) too busy travelling the world n enjoying retirement.
hmm i really shouldn't hate. wouldn't any one like to have the perks of a nana? i'ld like to say oh i will be so grandmotherly but if given the option, shoo if i worked hard, i should be ablt to play hard when retirement comes abi? just might take the nana route. pretty tempting but u never know. what about u?
Saturday, February 3, 2007
full of crap
the ups guy just dropped off three more boxes. yep its from her again. if i receive any more boxes from ups, i am going to scream. ever since my mother-in-law sold her house, my house has become a dumping ground. unbeleiveable
ist there was the trailer load of crap she paid almost 1g to have driven down to us here in atl. she lives all the way in chicago. The lady called n told hubby that she was sending down somethings to us since she sold her house n would not be needing them anymore. acting like she was doing us a favour. i was like ok. maybe i there might be thing that i can use to finish decorating the 4th bedroom in there. the truck came, i laugh as i write. i went upto it, pulled open the door, took one peep in side, hissed, slammed the door n went back in the house. i just went in n told hubby that the truck was here n left it at that. He was like why didn't u just grab somethings n bring it in so we can start off loading it. I just told him oh u need to do this urself. he just shook his head.
anyways the truck stood out there for at least 3 more days before hubby finally had the chance to go get the stuff out since he's usually tired after work. i had to see the look on his face when he opened the truck so i went out there with him. he opened, looked in, then climbed in rumaged thru some things, came out n asked when's the next trash day, i just laughed.
so it appears that either all the junk that his mom had n couldn't get trashed she went ahead n paid 4 it to get sent down to us or she actually thot that we could use things like an a track player complete with the discs. u'all remember those records that our parents use to play back in the days. the lady hadn't even graduated to tapes yet let alone cds. old broken down chairs n tables. broken picture frames, a bike that she used to ride when my husband was a kid. common now haba! i am kinda a hoarder too but trust me only important stuff n my collection only lasts a couple of yrs b4 i get tired of the mess n just trash whatever has pilled up in the attic.
i guess hubby didn't tell his mom that he couldn't use any of that stuff cos when she came visiting a couple of weeks later, she was asking if we put up some of the furniture yet. i just said "oh hubby is taking care of that". and u know men sometimes they can be too real n blunt for their own good. she asked him n he flat out said " mom, i sent all that stuff to salvation army."
she did not even say anything. i bet u she thinks i asked him to.
ist there was the trailer load of crap she paid almost 1g to have driven down to us here in atl. she lives all the way in chicago. The lady called n told hubby that she was sending down somethings to us since she sold her house n would not be needing them anymore. acting like she was doing us a favour. i was like ok. maybe i there might be thing that i can use to finish decorating the 4th bedroom in there. the truck came, i laugh as i write. i went upto it, pulled open the door, took one peep in side, hissed, slammed the door n went back in the house. i just went in n told hubby that the truck was here n left it at that. He was like why didn't u just grab somethings n bring it in so we can start off loading it. I just told him oh u need to do this urself. he just shook his head.
anyways the truck stood out there for at least 3 more days before hubby finally had the chance to go get the stuff out since he's usually tired after work. i had to see the look on his face when he opened the truck so i went out there with him. he opened, looked in, then climbed in rumaged thru some things, came out n asked when's the next trash day, i just laughed.
so it appears that either all the junk that his mom had n couldn't get trashed she went ahead n paid 4 it to get sent down to us or she actually thot that we could use things like an a track player complete with the discs. u'all remember those records that our parents use to play back in the days. the lady hadn't even graduated to tapes yet let alone cds. old broken down chairs n tables. broken picture frames, a bike that she used to ride when my husband was a kid. common now haba! i am kinda a hoarder too but trust me only important stuff n my collection only lasts a couple of yrs b4 i get tired of the mess n just trash whatever has pilled up in the attic.
i guess hubby didn't tell his mom that he couldn't use any of that stuff cos when she came visiting a couple of weeks later, she was asking if we put up some of the furniture yet. i just said "oh hubby is taking care of that". and u know men sometimes they can be too real n blunt for their own good. she asked him n he flat out said " mom, i sent all that stuff to salvation army."
she did not even say anything. i bet u she thinks i asked him to.
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