nanny troubles

i posted a comment on another blog and felt some of it would be interesting reading. not really what i had planned for the day but oh well.

i was complaining about my frustrations with nannies.
when i use the owrd nanny, people start to raise their brows especially akatas n their oyinbo counterparts. i am in no way one of those "lifestyle of the rich n famous " persons. but giving my situation, i needed ocassional help.

I don't know if there is any one more cautious or protective than my husband. he soo hates having to trust his girls in th ehands of strangers. forget taking them to a baby sitters. r u kidding, u want him to have a heart attack? anyways, when the girls where about 9mths, i decided to try n go back to work. i was tired of all the goo goo gaa gaa. abeg my vocabulary was begining to be limited to baby talk. besides i was going crazy stayng home since about 4mths into the pregnancy when i was put on bed rest. b4 getting pregnant, i was the epitomy of a jamaican. i was so used to working n taking care of my self. i proudly worked 2 or sometimes 3 jobs to be able to pay for my academia. i proudly display all my diplomas in my husband's study. from community college thru, a private university and grad school all by my self and no students loans hanging round my neck. it was well worth the sacrifice.

i don't know why , but the hubby n i decided to try things out on our own. i tried to work during the day and he worked at nite. it was such a horrible idea. i'ld come home fron work, walk thru the door n my husband without saying a word would just hand over the babies, walk in the bedroom and slam the door. it wasn't totally a disaster, at least my husband came out of it with a new found respect for me and women. he did not really understand how much work it was. after all he'ld go to work and come back to us at home. i didnot have to go earn a living outside. how hard can taking care of children be? i guess he found out the hard way. well we didnot need anyone to tell us that we needed help.

anyways, when it came to deciding what we wanted in a nanny, my husband and i both decided on these criterias: older, mature with tons of experience, non nigerian (that was me i did not want drama sorry, no predjudice against my own people, i just wanted to stay happy n drama free), chrisitian and clean. there is an agency here run by a naija that we thot at the time charged reasonable prices. we decided to try them out. it was our first time n we really needed someone like yesterday cos hubby was having to call in for work quite a bit cos he was just too tired sometimes and coupled with the fact that somelady that my mother had begged us to help out by giving her a job told us the day she was supposed to start that she couldn't come in till the nxt week cos she had to deal with her drivers licence and papers issues real quick. mind u, we wouldn't have known of her plan not to show up had i niot called her to let her know i was on the way to come pick her up.

the agancy sent us someone the nxt day n we just gladdly and with great relief, ushered her in.
i should have known it was a match made in hell when
1) she could not speak english. she spoke french. i believe she was from cameroun. i guess i figured how hard could it be. i understood a little french n she spoke broken english now my husband, i figured would manage some how, he probably wont have to deal wiv her that much right? wrong. btw, my hubby is american wiv a nigerian dad who he doesn't know. he has a nigerian name so as far as he is concerned he's nigerian. as for me, if we can't sit and yarn in yoruba or even pidgeon or yet still pronounce ur own name, unfortunatley u r as akata as can be. but i guess he's nigerian at the heart. lol no one loves those old fashioned ifa, yemoja, oduduwa like niger movies like he does. they don't even make those kinda movies anymore. ok back to the tale at hand
2) she wore more make up than i did
3) insisted she was <50 when she clearly looked like my grandmothers age
4) her son seemed too eager to drop her off and made me promise if we had any problems to be sure to call him. he would work things out.
oh i forgot ot mention, he begged us to keep her with us on her weekends off. he did not want her coming home because she did not get along with his wife and they we having a rought time n mind end up in divorce if soemthing does not give.


well to be honest, we went thru our honeymoon phase, everybody managed to get along. my hubby just simply let me to communicate with her. if he needed to say anything, he'ld call me at work n say"honey could u tell mama that........ now things started to go array when :

if we tried to ask her if the babies had eaten, just u know regular converstion or just wanting to know, she'ld get upset n reply we shouldn't tell her how to do her job. she'ld even try n tell me what to do being that oh she is my mom as she would say, she has done this over with her kids n grandkids.
that lady hoarded any and every thing that was a container. anytime i went to a carryout or brought home anything in a container she would want to keep the containers. i don't know what she taught she could do with them maybe sell them in her village or something. i'ld even find things i had thrown in the trash would magically appear around the house.
she ate out of the pot. seriously, she refsued to eat out of a dinner plate. she would cook and take the pot to her room and eat right out of it.
she was over the top that lady, i chuckle as i remember, gosh i can't beleive we put up with her crap. i mean imagine, anytime we went on outings, the lady would just sit down n go to sleep. n leave me to care 4 the girls. i mean every single time. n mind u the girls slept in my room n i took care of them at nite. i mean her work day is over after they take a bath n r put to bed around 7.30-8p.m. luckily i had been so used to doing things by my self b4 whe came anyway. even at home she would be sending me on errands like my grandmother did.

one day, i was in the kitchen n she was in the living rm n she was in the living rm with d girls n all of a sudden i heard a thump n all i hear nxt is aloud shrill of a cry form one of the girls. i ran out there n i asked her what happened, she said nothing that the babyjust stared crying. i asked her if the baby fell m she said no n started crying that i accused her of dropping the kid. drama queen to the core.

i was having a party for the girls 1yr old party, this lady made it a point of duty to lecture us on how to take pictures, who should be in what picture and literally shoved people out of the way so she could be in the picture. i still vividly recall her voice saying "no no na me dey take care of this pikin them. na me supposed standa for this place."
at the same party, she pulled my step father inlaw up and started to dance with him in a slow dance kinda way in the presence of my mother in law. she totally forgot about the kids.
did i mention she was drinking also. i was later told she asked him when he was going to coem take her out to the movies.!

and oh yeah did i mention she was a big drama queen. at the slight thing, she'd start crying and saying how cruel the world was, her son this n that n just all sorts of crazyness.

she only stayed with us for about 4nths but it seems like an eterntiy.


the last straw was when one day, my husband came home from work n................... i'll have to continue 2morrow cos is past midnite n i can hardly keep my eye open. forgive any typos, i am soooo sleeppy. aight 2morrow it is.