it is now official, i am a square, not a circle, triangle, heart, a prism, a cube simply SQUARE!!!!
at least cirlce has pie, although it ends right were it starts.
triangles got isoseles, pythagoras,
cube: mutlidimensional, 3d
prism: ask the physicists and the optometrist or optalmologist. more than significant
Square : plane figure, dull, rigidly conventional, no dimension, unimaginative and a conformist.
whats bothering me, i will tell you. even though i have not felt the significance till i got married cos when i was single, was plain too busy; school, work(jobs), boyfriend drama, family(more drama). or was i just simply content with being the the pretty face with brains to match.( i mean book smart). don't know. but anyhoo, i have come to the realization that i am plain boring!!!!
apart from my occupation which at the moment is a homemaker, my educational education which i am actually not quite passionate about anymore
my loves: three beautifull girls, my husband, my immediate family, 1 or 2 ok make it 3 friends.
that is it.
got no real hobbies( just started blogging), no verment i gotta have passions, not into sports, can't play any( i can stay on the side lines n cheer real good) don't play any instruments, not good with my hands, not quite imaginative,not creative, can't sing, not a writer really, don't have a political party ( so shameful to say), not a member of any organised group or association i don't think mop (mothers of multiples) didn't send in the app yet anyways. what in the world is wrong with me???
i envy( not in a bad way) some people. i will give examples:
hubby; loves his firearms. yeah i mean guns. loves to go to the shooting range
loves fishing
loves to read. buys at least one book a week. hangs out at barns n nobbles( a book store)
really deep down wants to write. but u know, man must put bread on the table so maybe in retirement
has a collection of weird rock music. u know them, wht people stuff like led zapplin, foo fightters, hall n oates, my chemical romance alot of 80s stuff.
a walk in my stilettos: passionate about travelling thw world. no matter how broke, manages to squeeze in at least 2-3 exotic places a yr
passionate about art: draws, paints, has a fuil time job n runs two companys of her own. check out some of her work at http://www.blue-socks.com
cranberry: wild for fashion and creativity
name sake: running marathons for causes.
food!! n cooking as well
cousin: wild about languages. girl can speak 6 fluently, i don't mean english, yoruba, ibo
difficult ones like japanese, german, portugese, russian, french, italian.
want to work for WHO or any international organisation or as a diplomat and is not taking no for an answer. needless to say she doesn't have a job yet cos she is still trying to break down those barriers so if u know anyone that works for the likes of unicef, who abeg help her. she las loafed of her papas money for too long now.
ok i can go on and on. my point is i searched my self thoroughly. i don't know y'all, but i can't find it or should i say i can't find my self. i have no interests whatsoever. i means things that i am just soo passionate about. things that if i did not have to do anythings else like work, take care of family e.t.c that i would want to do. take care of my kids, husband, home n thats it. i used to read, but that was back in the days oh jare. the days of nancy drew, mills n boons and them.
so please how do i find myself. my essence, or "get in touch with my self and inner being", how do i travel to that special place?
especially now that i am married, it really dawns on me. it is soo important to have something of your own. u know, ur own solace. u can't rely on ur husband or kids being there all the time. they can't spend 24/7 with u, when they r gone, what do u do? what do u long to do? when everyone else is out pursing their passions n dreams where r u?
i was tagged earlier today. what r the 10 things u do when no one is there:
1) read blogs
2) see who viewed my hi5 page( even though hi5 is sooo done now. i think face book is the it now)
3) dance to awilo
4) do the dutty wine ( even though i suck!)
5) surf the net, read more blogs, view hi5
6) view wedding websites ( yeah i am a wedding website crasher)
7)pop my zits infront of the mirror (very bad habit)
8) dance sexy to reggae in front of the mirror
9)daydream about what life would be like if i had made different choices ( have no real regrets though)
10) talk to my self. ( i am alone most of the time n don't worry i am not loosing it)
so if u have read my blog today, u have been tagged. answer these questions n further more what r u? r u a square.?
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11 comments:
That is the perpetual question isn't it? My poem "i've disappeared" says it all. You've got your passions, they've just disappeared under everything else or they don't seem to match up with the other seemingly more exciting passions out there.
What did you want to be when you grew up? I love to write and easily passed any English exams when in school. By the time I had to go to Uni, I ended up studying Architecture (I know... I read your other post). It was only years later that my father confessed that he would have loved me to be a writer.
Research any person of worth... whatever they are doing know that has made them famous started from their childhood which is why we need to be observant with our children and encourage their interests.
Does that mean it's too late now we've grown? No... I don't think so. That passion is there somewhere. Somewhere.
From one square to another. Sitting here wondering how life has passed me by. Definitely envy peoplee especially when I get the University Alumni mag and see that my lazy classmate is VP in IBM and I am a full time mum and only work part time. Feel very shortchanged and get pissed off with people who tell me I am luckier than some. My question is about those who are luckier than me.
So we know what is wrong. We are unfullfilled, bored and need to find the way. Best not to waste time thinking what might have been. Will do the tag thing in my blog. Take care
i really really value ur comments ladies, omara n kemi. u just don't know how it feels to know that u r not the only one n other people can relate. u guys might have just saved me the extra expense of a therapist. and i do know one thing 4 sure that i will take from this n make sure that i accomplish. which is to not put my girls in a box, open up their horizon, soak them in a varse n diversity of things n let them naturally gravitate or select what their interests are n nuture n help channel those interests in a positive way.
serena n venus's dad
tiger's dad n alot more parents have definately done a good job at it. i know i can too
SNB
My heart truly goes out to you...
IT is very difficult to make the choices that we have to make as women. We all want it all, and honestly , it really isnt easy... Your job as a stay at home isnt easy, whether you believe it or not!! I commend you, honestly! You have 3 beautiful girls , yes it might not be mentally fulfilling , but it has to be in other ways.
Regarding finding yourself...it is NEVER too late for that. Dont let anyone tell you any different. Based on your tag responses, it seems like you like to dance, have you though of teaching dance?? It cant be hard, and you could start with your girls, add on a few of their friends and turn it into a business...if you do it as a play activity , even starting with your multiples group is a way to hone your skills, abi??
Let me know what you think sweetie.
But we can figure out what you can do together, you are far from alone and DEFINITELY dont need therapy...
Have a great weekend!
@ blunt remi thank you very much for reaching out to me. i appreciate it more than u would ever imagine. i have to ponder on the dance thing. funny thing is i ahve been thinking about signing the girls up for some dance classes. now that i have a chool of thot, i have to think abt it a liitle more. i am not professionally trained so i don't know. i'll let u know after i let things marinate abit. it's an extremely good idea. thanks a bunch
visited ur website. very nice.
No update yet?
omara, sorry i have been abit busy this weekend. i will update later 2nite
LOL-
Youre more than welcome. Happy I could help.
As I said, practice on your daughters... they wont know the difference!!
Hi girl, first time on your blog and I was drawn to this post. You can't be Square! You've got sooo much potential and creativity within you. The thing is, you've buried those possibilities under the practicalities of life: got to look after the home and the kids. Believe me, the God who created you did not make a mistake. You have wonderful talents that you can make use of. I was just drifting here and there with my career before. But now I realise, I can do so much more. See my blog http://the-metamorphosis-of-tp.blogspot.com for some of the things I wrote about options. All the best! I pray you discover your talent and have the courage to go for it!
@ favoured girl, sorry i don't know how i overlooked ur comments. i am just reading them fro the first time today. thanks. i went to ur blogsite. as i was reading ur blog i was saying to myself wow these r some of the things i am working thru or contemplating e.t.c
well thanks 4 stopping by. i am going back to read soem more of ur archives
Hey girl,
Maybe there is nothing wrong with being a Square. For a long time, I got teased about my lack of passion for anything. But it in my opinion, that just gives me the freedom to be anything and to do anything.
With you being book smart, it means you are of above average intelligence, and will probably succeed at most things you put your mind and efforts into. Just pick on something, and throw yourself into it.
Maybe just maybe ... it'll be the beginning of something for you.
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